THE RELATIONSHIP REVOLUTION. (the 101th)

HEART-POINTS 3

HEARTSTREAMS daily Devotionals (singles and Married)

HEART-POINTS (PT 3)

Prov 4:20-21

20 My son, give attention to my words; Incline your ear to my sayings. 21 Do not let them depart from your eyes; Keep them in the midst of your heart;

NKJV

 

You must test the feelings that runs through you until you are over certain what God is saying and what God is not saying and the direction to take!

 

Not every emotion indicates a direction to a relationship or marriage with that person, so don’t be deceived.

 

Every emotion is an offshoot of hidden thoughts & beliefs from the past, emotions are a present response to thoughts we have allowed in the past.

 

When we avoid personalizing other people’s behaviors,we can perceive their expressions more objectively. People do what they do because of them more than because of us.

 

Any lover that demands of you,what you don’t have,without appreciating what you’ve given is a fraud!

 

Knowledge is knowing how a tiny life begins in the womb, wisdom is knowing that when you remove that life, it’s equal to murder

 

Fearful minds always focus on bad news, change the news you hear and the result you get will change.

 

when two people in a relationship get their priorities right, it is obvious they are grownups.

 

when u see any situation complicated, complex and difficult, then it’s obvious “foolishness” is at work. True wisdom simplify things for us

 

Yours in LOVE

PST AYO GARUBA

 

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HEART-POINTS (pt 2)

HEARTSTREAMS daily Devotionals (singles and Married

 

HEART-POINTS (PT 2)

Prov 4:20-21

20 My son, give attention to my words; Incline your ear to my sayings. 21 Do not let them depart from your eyes; Keep them in the midst of your heart;

N1KJV

1. The things that are most important in relationships cannot be measured in cash or kind, neither can they be seen in the body shape or skin colour

2. Most people will present their best side to you in relationship, if you are desperate and unwise you will fall for the ‘nice-ness’ factor. don’t fall for pretenders

3. Anyone going into the relationship market to Look for Love, is a bad customer, avoid that person.

4. The secret to finding a great life partner is to become one yourself

5. Relationship always involve a third party, the third party is either God or Satan, choose…

6. God is Love and without him at the center of your relationship, you will be totally lost.

7. A Godless single is a Loveless single,

8. If what you do in the closet, you can’t announce in the open, something is terribly wrong with an aspect of your life…

9. Until you build character, you are a potential disaster in marriage.

10. The way you treat the worse person in your life today is a sign to the way you will treat your Lover in the future,

 

Yours in LOVE

PST AYO GARUBA

 

For counseling, feedbacks and preaching engagements Contact me

 

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HEART-POINTS (pt 1)

HEARTSTREAMS daily Devotionals (singles and Married)

HEART-POINTS (PT 1)

Prov 4:20-21

20 My son, give attention to my words; Incline your ear to my sayings. 21 Do not let them depart from your eyes; Keep them in the midst of your heart;

NKJV

 

1. I have often said that “the report you believe determines the support that you enjoy”. This is also true in the area of relationship

2. Do not allow the report of the devil to deform your mind concerning your future marriage, choose to believe what God is saying about your future, after all he said “the plans he has for you are plans of good and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope”

3. Destiny is not a matter of chance; it’s a matter of choice. Success in any area of life is not an accident, it is deliberate. So also is relationship

4. Fear of the future is automatic, when preparation in the moment is lacking.

5. Whatever you sow today into the lives of others, you will reap in your future marriage, so you must be deliberately sowing good seeds of purity, kindness, faithfulness into your friendships today.

6. Entering a relationship unprepared is like taking a carpenter into the surgical room to do brain surgery, both of them are disastrous

7. That you have feelings does not prepare you for marriage just like that you have a strong desire for American films does not turn you into an American citizen .

8. Many singles have nothing to offer their future partner except stinking socks and dirty under wears, yet they believe they are ready for marriage.

9. Single hood is not the time to be obsessed with looking for a life partner, it is the time to mature into the kind of person that will have a successful life.

10. there is no miracle about weddings, wedding day doesn’t change your true status, the same way being a gate man in an hospital environment doesn’t make one a doctor.… Wedding ring would not add to your character, Neither would a wedding cake add flavour to your personality. It takes intense preparation to succeed at Loving others for life

 

 

KNOWING THE HEART OF YOUR LIFE PARTNER part 3

HEARTSTREAMS daily devotionals (Singles and Married)

KNOWING THE HEART OF YOUR LIFE PARTNER Part 3

Prov 20:5-6

5 The purpose in a man’s mind is like deep water, but a man of understanding will draw it out. RSV

Anyone can give you their body, any fool can give you there riches, but true love will give you their heart. Whatever relationship you are involved in that your heart is not totally sold out to, is not a relationship, it will not last. Relationship is really two people sharing their heart, not just sharing want is in their hands. Relationship is people who have given each other access into each other’ ‘secret place’, if you keep away any part of your heart from your spouse, you are not totally committed to such a relationship. That is why you must be very sure of the heart you are going to be sharing all the days of your life. if God is not the one that recommend that heart for you, you are not safe there, if you give your heart away without divine supervision, the person may rob you of your precious treasure and then you will start blaming others. Please take responsibility for your heart and your life.

Let me quickly give us an acronym for the H.E.A.R.T that will help us know our hearts and other people’s hearts.

H.E.A.R.T

H-hopes

E-Energy and emotions

A-Attitude

R-Reasoning

T-Time

Do you know the person’s hopes and aspirations? Do you know their dreams and visions for life? Is their emotion involved in the relationship with you? Do you know what their passion is? Do you know what they spend their energy on? Do you know their strengths and weaknesses? Their attitude also, have you watched how they respond to life and the people around them? Can you vouch for them in certain areas of life? Do you know how they reason or think about different aspects of life? Do you know their thoughts and plans? Finally, do you know what they spend their time on? This will give you a clue to what is in their heart. This list is not all inclusive, but it will at least demystify people’s heart for you and then you will understand you own heart too.

Let’s address the last two things about the heart we must know about our life partner

HEART FOR LIFE

People’s heart for life is the vision they are living for. What is this person’s working life purpose? Do you know their hopes and expectations for the future and what they want to live their life for? Until you know what someone is going to live his life for, you cannot venture into a relationship with that person. Marriage is instituted by God to fulfill a divine purpose, so destiny consciousness must be at the heart of marital pursuit. Do you have a vision and does the person have a vision, will the two of you be able to work on that vision together to fulfill God’s mandate for your life. It is vision that gives meaning to your relationship. Without vision, the relationship will hit the rocks, without vision, relationship is a pure waste of time. Where there is no vision the relationship will perish. So, find out if the two of you can walk together on a vision, if you do not see yourself on a common field with that person, then go back to God and ask him questions, if the man is going to be a politician but you only see yourself supporting a business man, then you may not have met your own husband. It may also mean that you haven’t gotten your vision bearing yet. So, you may go back to God and ask him for your own vision and the vision you are suppose to partner with. In marriage, apart from spending time looking into each other’s eyes, the person’s purpose and vision will consume their time, if both of you are both not agreed on this, then you will not be at peace in your marriage. That is the reason why many people complain that they do not have a supportive spouse. That is because that spouse is not wired to support that vision.

HEART FOR YOU

We have been looking at the different hearts that you must use to evaluate people that you are considering to be your life partner after you have heard from God. When it is God that chose for you, all these will naturally align, for example, the vision of the two of you will align with one another easily. Then the last one here is that there will be a natural affection and an attraction for each other. I often tell people, do not go into a relationship with someone you are not attracted to, attraction may not be the most important thing, but it is a fundamental thing, even people without understanding easily get attracted to people, now God spoke to you about someone and you are to attracted to that person, its either you are so hard hearted or that you didn’t hear God well. There has been many cases where people started a relationship without attraction, and they ended it after a couple of months, with heart breaks trailing their path. Anyone you are not attracted to, wait and pray to God for him to generate that emotion and attraction in your heart for that person, if you find it hard , then check your inner peace and conviction, if you know the person is your life partner you may go ahead the emotion may come up later, but ensure you check properly if your emotions aren’t involved, even the bible say we should Love the lord our God with “all our soul and with all our might’, that means with all our motions as well. check also the person’s heart for you, the person can’t just be managing you, the person must be passionate about you, the person must have a deep loving emotion for you, if true love is present in your heart the passion of love will naturally be there,

We have come to the end of our series on “Choosing your life partner”, I believe that the series must have been helpful for you. If you have any doubts, go back and read from ‘hearing from God for your relationship life” till this last topic, I believe God will speak to you through the words on these pages and you won’t miss God’s will in your marital choice, remain blessed.

 

CONFESS THIS

I thank you lord because I can never miss it when it comes to my marital destiny; I praise you because you have me covered.

PRAY THIS

Lord, give me the humility to do all I have been taught and the patience to wait for you to perform your word in my life

DO THIS

You can get other books on ‘how to choose your life partner”, but be careful do not read any material that says “God doesn’t choose for people”

STUDY THIS

PROV 20

Yours in LOVE

PST AYO GARUBA

 

For counseling, feedbacks and preaching engagements Contact me

 

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KNOWING THE HEART OF Y OUR LIFE PARTNER part 2

HEARTSTREAMS daily devotionals (Singles and Married)

KNOWING THE HEART OF YOUR LIFE PARTNER Part 2

But the LORD said to Samuel, “Do not consider his appearance or his height, for I have rejected him. The LORD does not look at the things people look at. People look at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart. I sam 16:7

We are still on our series of “how to choose your life partner”, we have dealt with the issue of choices and how to hear from God to choose the right person for you. Since yesterday we have been looking at how to understand the choice God gives you by the spirit or how to test that choice. What do I mean by “testing”. I believe that you do not enter onto a relationship and go to ‘see how it will go” like I said in previous devotionals “it will never go anywhere”. You don’t test your choice when you are deep in a relationship; you test your choice long before you start it. You first hear from God and then you prove what you have heard by getting confirmations from other sources and then by observing the person through friendship with them to know if this person satisfies the “heart parameters”. Remember, you are not comparing them with anyone, you are weighing them against the standard of the scriptures.

The first one we mentioned in the heart parameters is ‘the person’s heart for God”, so the question you want to ask here is “does this person have a heart for God?” since God cannot lead you to someone whose heart is not with him, if the person has not given his or her life to Christ then, you probably didn’t hear from God. the second of the “heart parameter” we mentioned was ”the person’s “quality of heart” within them”, the question here is “does this person’s quality of heart complements mine?”. You want to know here if there nature, personality and temperament can unite with yours. You want to know if both of you fit like lock and key. There are some of these things that you can only understand when you are in close friendship with this person or when you have begun a relationship with the one. Gather some knowledge at least before entering. That you cannot know everything about someone doesn’t mean you should start the relationship with an empty brain. Notice that I haven’t mentioned anything physical or social parameters, that is because those ones are variable and can distract from the real things which is in the heart. Once you know the heart of the person, other things will easily fall in place. Today we treat two more “heart parameters”

 

HEART TO HEART

While their ‘quality of heart” talks about how different both of you are in your personality yet complementary, the “heart to heart” talks about what similarities both of you must have for God to choose the two of you to be together. If you do not have any thing in common, you will most likely not be able to start, nor maintain a viable relationship. These common grounds will glue you together as friends, while the differences you both have will enable you to help each other’s weaknesses. but there are so many things that both of you must have the same heart about, you must be heart to heart in these things.

You want to know if both of you share a similar faith. We mentioned earlier That the person cannot be a free thinker or a Muslim and then you that have a Christian faith will go and marry that kind of person because you “feel” maybe God is leading you to marry the person. If you choose anyone outside your faith, you stand the chance of losing your faith to that marriage. if your faith is important to you, you won’t trade it on marital grounds since “the just shall live by his faith”

Do you two both share similar interest and passions? it is okay for both of you to be different in that “one person like football and the other like watching movies”, but if there is nothing that you share as common interest and passion together, you both will not last in that marriage. since you can only survive on the “friendship factor” in your marriage, if the friendship factor is absent, then you will both be having conflicts, so if you realize that nothing the person does interests you or you are trying hard to adjust or to imagine how to even live with the person, please check it very well and know if God has really spoken to you

Also ask yourself “do we both have a similar values and beliefs about life?” Is what is important to me important to her, or we both have opposite irreconcilable values. God will not match two people with deferring values. There is room for differences, but irreconcilable differences are strong signals that call for re-evaluation. Remember it is crucial you try and gather these facts at the friendship level and know the person’s heart very well. You see how that “attraction” alone cannot do any of these, what attraction can only do is give you the passion to pursue and gather facts and figures about the person,

HEART FOR OTHERS

The next thing you want to find out is their heart for other people, basically ‘what is their character towards people in their lives?” are they rude and disrespectful to people but will be nice and cool when they are with you, watch it , they are pretending . Is the person generally a proud person? Ask these questions what comes at you when you see that person, how will you describe her. I am not talking about what she portrays to people, but how she relates under pressure, how he relates in tense situations, how or she behaves when nobody is watching. In this day and age of social media, go and find out their attitude on the social networks. Check their facebook wall, check their past posts, check their regular DPs, how do they chat with you in the privacy of their phones, are they vulgar and even rude, check everything you can find about them. If you find irreconcilable character flaws in them, then ask God again. I am not saying they must be perfect, I am saying they must be perfect for you. I am saying that even if they have flaws in character, those flaws must be something that you don’t mind living with for the rest of your life, do not go into the relationship thinking you can change them, except you have a special anointing for changing the heart of people (which is possible if you know how), but if you don’t, please do not chew more than what you can bite. Most likely everyone will have certain character flaws that they will be dealing with, but you must be able to cope with the most extreme form of it in them before you can conclude that truly, they are your life partners. if you keep having doubts about their character, it is probably a stoing signal that you need to go and pray again.

watch out for strong anger, extreme pride, vengeful spirit, unfaithfulness and disloyalty, unkindness and cruelty. Immoral and lustful behaviours etc

we will touch the last two heart parameters tomorrow. Remain blessed.

 

TO BE CONTINUED

 

CONFESS THIS

My heart is right with God and renewed everyday in Jesus name

PRAY THIS

Lord, I pray for my future spouse, keep his or her heart and make him or her ready for the great future that you have for the two of us in Jesus name.

DO THIS

Work on your won heart as well.

STUDY THIS

1 sam 16

Yours in LOVE

PST AYO GARUBA

 

For counseling, feedbacks and preaching engagements Contact me

 

AYO GARUBA@ facebook

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BB PIN : 28490864

or BB PIN; 282BF5E4

PHONE NO:+234 (0) 8177554719

 

 

 

 

KNOWING THE HEART OF YOUR LIFE PARTNER

HEARTSTREAMS daily devotionals (Singles and Married)

KNOWING THE HEART OF YOUR LIFE PARTNER

Prov 27:19

19 As in water the face is reflected as a face, so a person’s heart reflects the person.

Charles was back at the relationship program, he had anticipated it throughout that day, he left his work quite early and ensured he got a seat at the front this time, in no time the hall was filled up and he thanked his God that he had come early. The speaker came in and projected on the screen the picture of a heart.

“I am going to describe the way to understand the will of God or test the will of God as HEART. the heart of a man is really that man, when you want to marry someone, what you are getting married to is not their body, it is not their possession, it is their heart that you are connecting with, so you want to have a glimpse into their heart before you share that heart with them for the rest of their lives.

HEART FOR GOD

The first thing you want to know is their heart for God. Has this person given his or her heart to Christ, or the heart is with the devil. God will never give you someone whose heart is not with him. He will give only into your care only what has been placed in his care. That means the person must be genuinely born again for God to speak t him about him or her. If the person is not born again, check it is not God to spoke to you. You cannot force people t give their heart to Christ so that you can marry them, you are on a mountain moving mission, and except your faith can move mountain, don’t venture into it. Moreover God match make you with an unbeliever.

You also want to know if the person has an in going heart to heart connection with the God and he is constantly growing in love with him. If the person doesn’t Love God and is not in a thriving relationship with God, the person cannot Love you and cannot be in a thriving relationship with you. so don’t get carried away by superficial things, you know someone’s heart for God by the way they respond to the things of God, by the way they talk about the things of God and what they say about God. “since out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks”

What does the person spend his time on, what is the first thing in the person’s, if it is not God then watch it. “Where your treasure is there will your heart be also”, if the person treasures God, the person’s heart will be spent on God”. if the person’s treasure is not God and his things, the person can never treasure you for the rest of your life, so be careful.

The person must also have a sensitive heart to know what God is saying, a humble heart to obey God and serve his people, the person’s heart For God is even more crucial than their heart for you. Once they have faith in God and a deep love for him you will have a stable relationship

This will help you to understand God’s choice for you, and help in how you relate with the person inside the relationship.

THE QUALITY OF HEART IN THEM

What I mean by ‘the quality of heart in them’ is their “Nature and temperaments”. people’s nature is what you will live with for the rest of their lives, they can rarely change this aspect of them. so you have to make sure that nature sooths your own nature. God will never give you some one whose quality of heart will not match yours. God has designed relationships to bring two people with almost different natures to achieve a common goal. Even the gender difference says it all, it is not normal for male and male to be married, one of them is unnecessary in that kind of union. It takes opposite of the same specie to attract and reproduce life. While you must have something in common, your nature will rarely be similar if you allow God to choose for you.

More often than not, tough hearted people are connected with soft hearted people to create balance in their lives; people with a quiet heart may have a loud person as a complement. The heart is where people’s personality is, so you want to know if their personality is complementary with yours. Many people keep having conflicts in their relationship because they choose someone whose heart doesn’t fit theirs. They choose not based on the quality of heart, but based on the quality of face.” God doesn’t look at the appearances (face), he looks at the heart”, if I were you, I will be like God and look at the heart too. The face can distract you form the heart, so watch it. So, if you are looking at faces, you may soon be defaced in a relationship.

God doesn’t necessarily choose someone with the exact same texture of heart with you. that you are a thinker doesn’t mean your wife is be a brainy and will be a thinker like you, she may be an emotional and more subjective person, you will notice she will create balance in your life. There will be times when you logic might put you into trouble it is the feelings of your wife that will recue you. Your own husband may be rough in his approach to things while you are very refined and organized in your thoughts, that is not a reason to complain, it is a reason to complement or to help him. It is possible for you to never have any serious conflict with someone whose quality of heart locks easily with yours. Even though both of you are different in personality from each other, you will still not have issues, because your hearts were made to help and sooth each other. Many choose people like them thinking that is the smart thing to do, but in their ignorance they make blunders. But when you allow God to choose for you, you will discover this is how God chooses for people, he connects people whose heart will match and fit each other lile lack and key. Even though lock and key do not have the same shape, but you never see them shout in each other, they quietly help each other and every door opens to lock and key

Charles couldn’t take his eyes off the man, his mind was working at the speed of light as he spoke, he was learning more than ever before. he was even more sure that he can never miss it when it comes to this marriage thing, the man continued, but we will continue tomorrow.

TO BE CONTINUED

 

CONFESS THIS

My heart is refined and my heart is renewed in Christ Jesus

PRAY THIS

Lord, Give me the sensitivity to the heart of people and especially the heart of my spouse in Jesus name

DO THIS

Check your own heart and take an inventory of it

STUDY THIS

 

Yours in LOVE

PST AYO GARUBA

 

For counseling, feedbacks and preaching engagements Contact me

 

AYO GARUBA@ facebook

TWITTER@ayo2gee

BB PIN : 28490864

or BB PIN; 282BF5E4

PHONE NO:+234 (0) 8177554719

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

CHOOSING YOUR LIFE PARTNER part 6

HEARTSTREAMS daily devotionals (Singles and Married)

CHOOSING YOUR LIFE PARTNER PART 6

Gen 24:64-65

64 Then Rebekah lifted her eyes, and when she saw Isaac she dismounted from her camel; 65 for she had said to the servant, “Who is this man walking in the field to meet us?” The servant said, “It is my master.” So she took a veil and covered herself. NKJV

Before we go on with the discoveries of Charles lets quickly revise what we learnt in “how to hear from God for your relationship life”, this is important because when we tell people to hear from God for who to marry they often have a lot of confusions on this matter.

WHAT IS THE ROLE OF ATTRACTION

Attraction is a normal human emotion that comes to play because first, we are wired to be attracted to the opposite sex. Secondly, we have some soft spot for some certain types of people such that if they come into our lives, we will ‘fall in love’ with them. note that you ‘fall in love’ with someone doesn’t mean that you actually love the person, falling in love is an emotion, ‘loving’ is a decision you make and it takes time to actually be able to truly love the same person you ‘fell in love’ with a long time ago. When you fall in love, it may be two things: you are just being infatuated, in that case, you have to gather your emotions and move on with your life, or it may actually be that God is speaking to you, so you move on to investigating the matter before the lord.

HOW DO I KNOW IF IT’S GOD

you must very open to God at this phase, its often safer if you haven’t been attracted to the person, but in reality most people are often attracted to the person before they find out if the person is God’s will for them or not. So by now you must have mastered how God speaks to you and you must wait for at least three witnesses or wait for three methods of God speaking to you before you come to any conclusion that that is your life partner.

Never ever rush this kind of decision, because once you choose the person, you are not suppose to ‘unchoose’ the person, take your time and be very sure ‘he that believes will not make haste’

SEPARATE YOURSELF

if I were you I will specifically go on a three days prayer and fasting, I will ask specifically for God to speak to me and show me if that person is my wife or husband, I will not ask ‘if the person is good for me’, I will ask specifically ‘lord is this my future life partner?’ if this is the person speak to me and show me so that I can know.

Do not be vague, be very specific and wait for God to speak to you, through any of the nine methods we spoke about on ’how to hear God for your relationship’. I will list them again here

A deep sense of conviction, Peace that passes understanding, A deep desire that doesn’t go away with time, A night dream, A vision, A word from the scriptures, Rhema from the pulpit, Circumstances, Confirmation from other people like a prophet (and other means that I may not have mentioned here).

BE PATIENT

After this prayer God may speak to you immediately, in that case you will know what to do from there. but in many other cases, God may be quiet, what that means is that you need to drop that case and continue with your life until God dims it fit to speak to you by himself. Most likely, God wants you to focus on something else and take your mind off ‘marital things’.

If I were you, I will discontinue my friendship with that person and stay away emotionally so that I do not get compromised and entangled with the person, this may be tough for so many people but if you truly love the person, you won’t want the person to make mistakes with you. So love will make such sacrifice because of a greater good.

INVESTIGATE

When you have heard from God and you have confirmed, if you have been friend with the person then it won’t be strange, that means you already know the person’s character and personality as it were, but if the person is unfamiliar with you, then you may need to get to know the person first and then understand this person. if possible, you make be in friendship with the person and wait for the opportune time to speak with the person. in my case, I had known her for a while so I knew her character and most things about her, but one morning by 2am holy spirit woke me up and told me “you are asking her hand in marriage today”, I was shocked, this was because he has told me she is my wife long before then but I was still hesitating. I realize that if we are very sensitive to the holy spirit he will even tell us when to do what and what to do in our relationship.

MAKE THE MOVE

If you are a female, wait for the move, if you are a male, be courageous to make the move. I have heard different things people say things like “don’t tell the person ’God says’”,

well, it’s okay for you to tell the person you want to marry that it’s because you love them but there so nowhere in the scripture where the criteria for marriage is love, the only criteria is “his voice’, so as a lady, even if a guy comes and tell you how beautiful and gorgeous you are as a criteria for him choosing you, you had better ask him, ‘what did God say to you’. so please as a guy no matter what sweet things you tell the person as a way to ask her hand in marriage, do not hesitate to say what God told you also, without this foundation, both of you may be in trouble in the future, and like I said, wait for the person to hear from God herself. If anyone you are asking out is allergic to the voice of God, I will advice you go back to God and talk to him about her

START WITH THE END IN MIND

You must begin the relationship with the mindset that marriage is in view, not ‘let’s see how it goes’ if you try to see how it goes, it will go nowhere, if you lead the relationship, it will end in marriage. So please do not play games. Get into the relationship with a very straight head and do it rightly.

CONFESS THIS

Lord I thank you because I am getting wiser and wiser every day and I a established in your perfect will for my life

 

PRAY THIS

Lord, teach me your way more and more and help me to follow you no matter what it will cost me

 

DO THIS

Read the articles on “how to hear God for your relationship series”

 

STUDY THIS

PSALM 1:20-33

 

Yours in LOVE

PST AYO GARUBA

 

For counseling, feedbacks and preaching engagements Contact me

 

AYO GARUBA@ facebook

TWITTER@ayo2gee

BB PIN : 28490864

or BB PIN; 282BF5E4

PHONE NO:+234 (0) 8177554719

 

 

 

CHOOSING YOUR LIFE PARTNER part 5 “THE LAW OF ENTRANCE”

HEARTSTREAMS daily devotionals (Singles and Married)

CHOOSING YOUR LIFE PARTNER Part 5

“THE LAW OF ENTRANCE”

Ps 19:7

 The law of the Lord is perfect, reviving the soul. The statutes of the Lord are trustworthy, making wise the simple.

NIV

The church that Charles attends was going to have a relationship seminar coming up and like many other seminars he was sure he wasn’t going to be there, after all, ‘they all say the same thing’ he said t himself. He has attended several of them and had come back sometimes more confused than he went, so this time he was just going to get busy. but as he tried getting busy he heard The word in his spirit “Law of entrance”, what is that lord, he asked “go and find out at the relationship seminar”, He was a bit taken by surprise. Really! God wants me to go for this relationship seminar? It’s a young pastor coming and he wondered what the person has got to offer, but he went anyway.

the place was packed full and he was led by the ushers to his seat, as he sat down he looked at what was projected on the screen, the same statement God has dropped in His heart earlier, he jotted it down

“THE LAW OF ENTRANCE”

“Never, ever get into any kind of intimate relationship with anyone under any circumstances or conditions inspired by your environment, people or internal pressures, until you are totally convinced and assured by divine instruction, and spiritually guided through careful investigation using scriptural choosing parameters, and you have ascertain that, that is the God ordained and right person for you, and you are ready to be married to the person if he or she agrees after he or she had ascertain it also in a similar way”

He then listened to the speaker with rapt attention because he perceived: God has something to say to him through this man.

“A lot of people keep asking the question of how to know their life partners, the only way is to hear from God by yourself. It is by instruction and careful investigation, not just attraction or with mere observation, I have explained a lot earlier so I won’t repeat myself. but let’s examine the above ‘Law of entrance’. God specifically gave me this law to help guide me into my own relationship and it helped me a lot. I already started ministry and I had not met my life partner. in fact, I made one relationship mistake because I hadn’t learn this, and I believe if you follow this law, you will all save yourself a lot of heart ache that goes with people taking their relationship life into their hands and using their power of observation to choose their life partner.

Nothing must motivate you to go into relationship with any one, I repeat nothing on this earth except a clear cut, proven and tested leading of the spirit of God, any other reason inspired by circumstances, people or your environment (like age beauty, feelings, money etc) will only get you into the wrong hands.

it Is not enough to hear God, you must hear God until you are totally sure and convinced this is God speaking to you, do not assume it is God, do not just ‘feel’ it is God, do not just take the other person’s word for it, be very sure, most likely request that God speaks to you in multiple ways such that you can’t miss what he is saying.

When you have heard from God you must then investigate the person, not to know if he or she is your life partner, but to understand why God would choose that person as your life partner. this investigation is done praying with the holy spirit to give you understanding in six specific areas of that person’s life as they connect with yours, I will give you those areas later

When you have done your investigation and now you have satisfied your heart about what God is saying, you must make up your mind that you are not going into the relationship to test things, you are going into the relationship to prepare for marriage. The courtship helps you to understand God’s choice for you and to prepare to marry the person. Do not waste time in this phase, the longer it gets, the more room you create for doubts and problems.

even when you ask the person’s hand in marriage do not start a relationship until the person has heard from God and has ascertain it by herself and she is sure, if any one agrees to you without having heard for herself, she may not last with you “the just must live by ‘her own’ faith”, not yours. If you are a female and you heard from God, please wait patiently and pray to God to speak to the guy to do the asking, don’t put yourself in emotional stress by jumping ahead. Many ladies make this mistake, it is easier for you to wait and the guy never comes, than for you to ask the guy and you have your heart in your mouth awaiting a possible rejection.

ensure you get your mentors’ involved in this process, a wise marriage counselor or a trusted pastor will be able to help supervise and ensure the success of the process, if you both start with God then you shouldn’t be afraid to submit your relationship to a mentor.”

The man was just hitting the bulls eye, he seem quite experienced in what he is teaching. Charles jotted and jotted a lot of what he is saying, and then the man continued.

“I assume all of you can hear from God, if you cannot, get my materials on “how to hear from God for your relationship life”, it will help you a lot. I wrote it especially for singles who find it hard to know what God is saying for their relationship life.

Someone asked a question from the audience

“Sir, you said we must investigate the person before we ask her out”

“yes, you see, divine instruction many times comes without any appeal to your understanding, that means God can choose someone for you and you won’t have a clue why, he may even choose someone that you don’t like because of the level of your understanding, but if you know these six parameters, you will be able to understand why he choose the person, at least three out of the six will give your mind rest and confidence that you are not just hearing things. When I come tomorrow, I will share the six things with you.”

Charles knew he had to be around tomorrow, there were a lot of things that was said but Charles had gotten the guideline he needed, he dusted his note and closed it. thank you Jesus , he whispered

CONFESS THIS

I accept your way above my own way, I agree with your will in my life in Jesus name

PRAY THIS

Lord prepare me ahead to fulfill your will in my life in Jesus name. prepare also my spouse and keep him/her for your ultimate purpose in Our lives in Jesus name

DO THIS

Find out mentors you can trust and ask them about the above method.

STUDY THIS

PSALM 19:1-14

Yours in LOVE

PST AYO GARUBA

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CHOOSING YOUR LIFE PARTNER part 4

HEARTSTREAMS daily devotionals (Singles and Married)

CHOOSING YOUR LIFE PARTNER Part 4

Prov 14:12

12 There is a way that seems right to a man, But its end is the way of death.

NKJV

Charles was enjoying every bit of the revelations about how to choose his life partner. he knows he wasn’t ripe yet to marry, but he also knows he had rather learnt how to fight battle long the day of battle, rather than wait for the battle to begin before preparation. He knows, “you don’t prepare in battle, you prepare for battle”. So prepare he does. He feels so grateful that God is giving him such insights into how to choose his life partner; he knows he would have a great marriage. He can now approach life with boldness and confidence. his heart goes out to many of his colleagues who are totally ignorant and many who has made tragic marital mistakes because of bad choices , he wishes he could spread the message to everyone who can hear it, but he also knows his time will come, what he knows, he must share with others.

there are more things God told him he was going to share with him and he is always very sensitive to know how and when God is speaking to him, he knows that the way to learn about anything in this kingdom, by being spiritually sensitive at all times. What will God teach him next? He wondered, the last time God has shown him “five witnesses” to prove that he is still in the business of choosing life partners for people, he hasn’t retired yet.

As he meditated this particular morning it occurred to him that there is obviously two ways to choose life partner. Our way and God’s way

Then the thoughts begin to come to and he was prompted to write all of them out.

Two ways to choose life partner

by attraction or observation

By instruction.

He obviously knows the feeling of attraction; he has gone through that path many times, it happens to most people all the time. One can even be attracted to several people at the same time. He smiled to himself. An attraction happens when you see someone who as it were catches your attention. It is a pull towards someone you perceive can make you feel loved and accepted. Why people get attracted to others is still a mystery but for one thing, the male and female were wired by God to be attracted to each other. But then why do we get attracted to a particular female or male and can attraction be a solid foundation for lasting marriage? As he meditated he realized. One cannot totally rule out the place of attraction from marital choice, it is wired into us by God for a purpose, but attraction without instruction will lead to destruction since ”there is a way that ‘seems’ right to a man, but the end is the way of destruction”, the problem with attraction is that it is superficial. You see the beauty of the girl as a guy and you fall in love with her, you see how calm and collected she is and you conclude she is a potential wife. ‘Man looks at appearances, God looks at the heart’, attraction has no potential to see the true nature of people, it is based only on sight and thus it is not a good foundation for marital choice. how many times has a girl looked at a guy’s toys, and account statements and conclude he will be the right person for her and yet a couple of years down the line, the name lady is wondering why she ever married him in the first place. How many times has a lady married a guy because he was, as it were, ‘romantic’, but now he is almost like a ‘beast’ at home. As he meditated he realizes ‘looks can be deceptive, no wonder we need God to choose for us.

He then decided to pen down reasons why we can’t choose for ourselves. That would at least help straighten his head whenever he is tempted to neglect the right way of doing things

.

Confusion of choices: what if you are attracted to more than one person, how will you chose the right person? Your power of observation may not help you here because no one will have everything you wish for on them. This happens all the time, that is why I am sure God helps am us to make the right choice. Many people stay at the bus stop of life watching as different ‘potentials’ passes by, no wonder they are very confused.

Unhealthy comparisons; trying to choose from an array of people often leads us to compare them with each other, this is totally wrong. How would you feel if you are being compared to another person by someone that is trying to marry you? You look at the nose of A and see that it is larger than the nose of B, please save the dignity of people and let God just choose for you. The other person may seem better than someone else but may still not be the right person for you.

Serial relationships; choosing by ourselves often lead to pick and drop. There are some that even starts a relationship to test if the person is the good for them, when they then realize the person is not, they drop the person, so many people get involved in serial relationship this way. it is tragic getting into relationship with a ‘serial killer’, they are not safe to be with, please if you are not sure someone is your God ordained life partner, do not start a relationship with them, do not say in your heart, ‘you just what to see how it goes’, if you are not sure at the beginning, you will never be sure any time in the relationship. Commitment doesn’t just spring up in a relationship after several years of courtship; it is decided long before it. so please get conviction before venturing into that relationship.

Opening to deception; since you are choosing by yourself with your power of observation with your five senses. People can hide their bad side and project their good side to you. many people in the relationship market are pretenders, nobody will show you their bad side to attract you, they will make you feel welcome and good all the way until they show you who they really are after you are married to them

It often leads to regrets, offences and hurts: since there is the issue of ‘pick and drop’ and comparisons, this kind of method of choosing often lead to heart break and rejections.

He remembers a story of a young man, he heard from a friend of his, The guy doesn’t believe in ‘God says’, so he choose a girl whom he thinks was nice and they started a relationship, buy After a couple of years in the relationship, the girl looks at the guy in the eye and said ’since I can choose whomsoever I want, I refuse to choose you”, she dumped the guy and choose someone else, if they both have heard from God, nothing like that would have happened. Attraction or observation can obviously not help in choosing rightly, it must be done by divine instruction coupled with proper guidance of some wisdom parameters.

Charles heaves a sigh, placed his pen down and smiled to himself.:Nice write up. Thank you holy spirit.

CONFESS THIS

Lord I submit my emotions to you in all ramifications.

PRAY THIS

Lord, take away every distraction from my heart form your perfect will in Jesus name.

DO THIS

Decide if you will choose by attraction or not, it will determine everything else in your relationship life.

STUDY THIS

PROV24;1-35

Yours in LOVE

PST AYO GARUBA

For counseling, feedbacks and preaching engagements Contact me

AYO GARUBA@ facebook

TWITTER@ayo2gee

BB PIN : 28490864

or BB PIN; 282BF5E4

PHONE NO:+234 (0) 8177554719