Monthly Archives: November 2014

ANGER MANAGEMENT

ANGER MANAGEMENT

God is in the business of perfecting every imperfection that is present in our lives. The question is will you take them to him

2 Cor 12:8-9
8 Concerning this thing I pleaded with the Lord three times that it might depart from me. 9 And He said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my strength is made perfect in weakness.”

It’s often easier to see sins like adultery, fornication, stealing, lying and the rest as sins that we need deliverance from but more subtle issues like anger is often treated with levity, I believe this is why God has brought up this series to address a very silence and justifiable plague in our midst In GAL 5:19-21 “Outburst of wrath” was placed amongst more seemingly grievous sins like sorcery and murder, but one thing we must realize is that if the seed of anger is not dealt with, it will naturally lead to the blatant destructive sins.
I have come across a certain lady who basically went and commit adultery because she was angry with her husband. That led to the loss of her marriage and a child outside wed-luck.
Anger will destroy a man long before he realises it. So we must get our deliverance from it.

ANGER IS A SIN, IT NEEDS FORGIVENESS
Like every sin, we must acknowledge anger as a something that can steal away the presence of God from us. Since sin takes us far from God, the enemy uses the works of the flesh to kill us (separate us from God who is our life). His mission is to steal, kill and destroy. One of his tactics is to get us into rage and cause us to be provoked so that he can damage things in our lives and eventually damage our very lives. We must thus immediately return back to God, acknowledge our faults, ask for his cleansing, receive his forgiveness and return back into fellowship with him.
We must be wary of anger , never excuse it, never allow it and if it slips in, chase it out.

ANGER IS A STRONGHOLD, IT NEEDS TO BE PULLED DOWN
Because anger is an emotion, it has formed in us over time and it has become a dysfunctional way of us responding to situations. It has become a dent in your soul that needs to be repaired; anger has become a deep trunk that needs to be uprooted. Just like every works of the flesh, they have their root in the dark side of our souls and their fruits or works in your flesh. We must get rid of these roots by praying them out Pulling down every stronghold, thoughts and imaginations that exalts themselves against the knowledge of God.

ANGER IS A DISEASE, IT NEEDS HEALING
Anger is both a malfunction and an infection.it must be treated as such. That is why we must go to the great physician and present ourselves as a sick patient for him to cure us of our soul diseases. Every time God forgives us, he also goes ahead to heal us. We see this in 2 Chron 7:14 …and will forgive their sin and heal their land. But that is after “My people who are called by My name has humbled themselves, pray and seek My face, and turned from their wicked ways.
So it is important we pray for healing from this defect in our souls. This will go also for all the others works of the flesh or issues that we have in our souls

ANGER IS A SPIRIT, IT NEEDS TO BE CASTED OUT
IF God has not given us the spirit of fear, then he hasn’t given us the spirit of anger either, the spirit that God gives is patient, meek, long suffering, kind and peaceful.
This is especially so when you realize that you get angry unnecessarily for things that shouldn’t even get you angry. You just realize that you are enraged and you totally lose your cool with the slightest offense against you, it is most likely a ‘spirit entity”, a wrong spirit personality in you causing that anger, so you must bind it and cast it out in the name of Jesus. I have counseled someone before who after praying some liberation prayers saw this little demonic entity in his dream spewing out curse words and reactions that he would normally think it’s just his feeling. That was when he knew that what is making him angry is not just his emotions, but spirit entities that wants him destroyed.

ANGER IS A WEAKNESS, YOU NEED THE STRENGHT OF GOD TO VERCOME IT
The power of God is the ultimate solution to every weakness of man and that is gotten in the place of word and prayer. As you hear his word, you take it to him in prayer for him to actualize what he has said in your life. when Paul prayed concerning this thorn in his flesh God told him directly “my grace Is sufficient for you, if you co-operate with me, my strength will perfect your weaknesses, God was telling him, if you depend on me , I will see you overcome this weakness in your soul.
So we have seen that anger is a sin, it needs forgiveness. It is a stronghold, it needs pulling down. it is a sickness, it needs healing. it is a sprit that must be cast out. It is a weakness, you need grace for it.

CONFESS THIS
Lord I receive deliverance from the anger in my soul and I receive the spirit of meekness, calmness and gentleness is Jesus name.

PRAY THIS
Lord I receive forgiveness for my sins of anger in Jesus name, I pull down every stronghold of anger in my life, I receive healing for the hurt in my soul, I bind and cast out every spirit of anger and receive strength to overcome every weakness that causes anger in my soul in Jesus name.

DO THIS
It’s recommended that you actually go on a prayer and fasting for a couple of days and deal with different emotional issues the same way you deal with the emotion of anger

STUDY THIS
2 Cor 10:3-6

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Ayo Garuba (pst)

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VICTIMS OF FURY

VICTIMS OF FURY
(PART 5 OF EMOTIONAL OUTBURST)

Anger is not just a wrong emotion, it’s dangerous sin.
“To underestimate anger as just a mere negative emotion that you think you have an option to deal with or not, is like playing with a pet lion and thinking because you are its owner you are safe”.
That pet lion might be small now but when it is fully grown it can prey on you, if you don’t pray to God to take away that anger, the devil might use it to prey on you, so be careful.
What would you do if you found out someone murdered the love of your life, your spouse, your future husband or wife to be, or one of your family members? How would you feel, do you know how much of trouble the person will be in, since if caught, he will definitely face the wrath of the law. He will most likely face life imprisonment.
So back to us, do you know that this is exactly what we do every time we get angry carelessly
Hear what Jesus said in Matthew 5:21-22

21 “You have heard that it was said to those of old, ‘you shall not murder, and whoever murders will be in danger of the judgment.’
22 But I say to you that whoever is angry with his brother without a cause shall be in danger of the judgment. And whoever says to his brother,’Raca!’ shall be in danger of the council. But whoever says, ‘You fool!’ shall be in danger of hell fire. NKJV

As much as we are under the grace dispensation and Jesus’ blood is flowing to cleanse us from our sins, the level of purity expected of us is so high that just being angry is like murder to God. The same judgment of murder is being met out for someone who gets angry without a good reason. When I first studied this bible verse, I asked God, “Lord, so what is a good reason to be angry” the answer I got was “NONE’, none? Note that this is my personal revelation and it has helped me to check the poison of anger in my soul. Ever since, when I feel a bit of anger I tell myself, “I have no reason to be angry”. The question most people ask is “how then do I address issues if I don’t get angry?” The truth is that you need to address the issues not in anger, it is wisdom and that only comes in the place of peace. Anything that seeks to provoke you to anger wants to take you out of God’s presence. Anything that gives you a good reason to be angry, is giving you a good ground to be punished by the devil, so take caution! Don’t explain your anger off as just a mere emotion that you might deal with if you want. Deal with it like a virus that wants to destroy your destiny.
One of the catastrophes of anger is that it motivates destructive speeches, it makes you utter words that sow the wrong seeds into your future, it pushes you to make statements that can kill and destroy people. Yet if lose in your words, you can’t really claim to be a Christian, since blessed are the peace makers for they shall be called the sons of God.
The easiest way to know someone who is immature despite the amount of anointing he or she carries is by checking the presence or absence of peace. Since the presence of peace means wisdom, while the absence of peace means foolishness. Yet you can never overcome the enemy without peace.
‘The God of peace will crush the devil under your feet”
Moses fell flat for the danger of anger when the Israelites provoked him in Numbers 20:10-12 and he allowed their provocation and uttered the wrong words, cursing the people of God, God never let him loose on it. While he could ask for forgiveness for the Israelites, God considered him too compromised for him to be forgiven, although he made it to heaven , it took almost two thousand years later for him to make it to the promised land, when he appeared on the mount of transfiguration with Jesus.

“Anger will delay God’s mission for your life, if it doesn’t terminate it altogether, so be careful”

David almost lost his throne to anger, when Nabal provoked him to anger. Mind you, every one of this people seem to have a seemingly “good” reason to be angry and that is the trap of anger, anger gives you a seemingly “good” reason to hang yourself so watch it.
In Moses case, anger pushed him to make the wrong statement about God’s own people, and then he went on to disobey God’s instruction, instead of striking the rock once, he struck it two times.
In David’s case, anger made him swear in the name of the lord to take the lives of both the guilty and the innocent. Anger beclouded his eyes; he wanted to take vengeance by himself. Instead of him to see that “vengeance belongs unto the lord and he will take it” and to know that “No one can receive anything except he be given from above”. Anger reduced his intelligence quotient to thinking, “who is his fool that would talk to me like that” and “I will show him that no one can stop me from taking what I deserve”. Pride, frustration and self-justification fueled his anger and he got into motion to destroy all that belonged to Nabal alongside with him.
The brothers of Joseph were also victims of anger and so they were cursed by Jacob in Gen 49:5-7.

5 “Simeon and Levi are brothers; Instruments of cruelty are in their dwelling place. 6 Let not my soul enter their council; Let not my honor be united to their assembly; for in their anger they slew a man, and in their self-will they hamstrung an ox. 7 Cursed be their anger, for it is fierce; and their wrath, for it is cruel! I will divide them in Jacob and scatter them in Israel.

Now note all these people it all started with the tiny seed of self-Righteous anger, and once they permitted themselves the indulgence the seed of anger, they were at the risk of judgment.

CONFESS THIS
I refuse to be a victim to fury, I refuse to justify or allow this dangerous emotion in my life in Jesus name.

PRAY THIS
O lord, eliminate every spirit of anger from me in Jesus name

DO THIS
Apply all what has been said

STUDY THIS
I Samuel 25:2-35

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Ayo Garuba (pst)

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HEART POINT 6

HEART POINTS 6

If anger is your natural way of expressing yourself in a relationship then you are a wrong candidate for relationship

An emotion you refuse to deal with will definitely deal with you.

Maturity is the capacity to take personal responsibility for your thoughts, words and emotions. It is knowing fully well that you are responsible for your responses to people and no one can be blamed for how you behave

We are often in the habit of taking people we supposedly love for granted while we pretend to care for those who don’t know us well enough to give a hoot about us. Your loved one’s deserve your best behaviours, please give it to them.

. Anyone in a relationship with an angry person is in a relationship with trouble.

The greatest subtlety that makes anger thrive is the delusion that it can be excused. The mentality that “I should get angry and it’s my right to get angry”. Once you have this excuse, anger will fester in your life like a virus and will damage vital things in your life.

What we lose from anger is often more than what we gain from it

Relationship should be a healing place not a battle place where we hurt one another.

Behind every negative emotion is an underlying negative fuels that powers them, your ability to eliminate the fuel determines if the fire will stay or not.

Anger blocks flow of creative ideas needed to solve problems, it blinds you to the most obvious solutions and keeps you in the dark. So it is wise to hold your peace and ask for God’s help to resolve the situation in question…

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Ayo Garuba (pst)

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FUELS OF RAGE

FUELS OF RAGE

Behind every negative emotion is an underlying negative fuels that powers them, your ability to eliminate the fuel determines if the fire will stay or not.

Gen 4:6-7
Then the Lord said to Cain, “Why are you angry? Why is your face downcast? NIV

Anger usually cannot stand by itself; it needs support legs of other wrong emotions and wrong belief systems. It requires fuelling for the fire of rage to continue. We said earlier, some of the fuel that sponsors anger arey
1. Fear
2. Past emotional hurts
3. Lack of wisdom in responding to situations

Let’s try and see what other thoughts or emotions can sponsor anger

FRUSTRATIONS
Frustration is the feeling that despite all your effort you aren’t getting the required result. Most frustrated people get into desperation trying to do all it takes to get the result. It’s quite easy that one more thing that goes wrong can tip the frustrated person into an emotional outburst. In a way, this is a cry for help but done in a very destructive way. The tendency usually exists that the more you get angry because of your frustration, the more frustrated you become because anger would often worsen the situation, not make it better. Anger blocks flow of creative ideas needed to solve problems, it blinds you to the most obvious solutions and keeps you in the dark. So it is wise to hold your peace and ask for God’s help to resolve the situation in question or for God to give you the wisdom you need to know what to do.
EMOTIONAL DEPRIVATION
A hungry man is a potentially angry man. The same goes in a relationship. Once a person’s emotional needs are not being met in a relationship, there is a tendency for the person to get cranky, frustrated and angry. If you are in a relationship where your spouse is always getting angry find out what you are not supplying in terms of emotional needs. If you are the person who is getting unduly angry, ask yourself what is that am being deprived and am indirectly crying for help but do not know it. Being aware of what underlies an emotion helps you to resolve it easily, everyone needs love to survive especially if you are in a relationship where you require the emotional nourishment of your spouse, then you must identify lack of such nourishment as a root cause.
STRESSED
Some people become totally unpleasant when they are stressed physically, while this may feel like a genuine reason to blow of the roof. Imagine meeting someone who you mistakenly step on his toe and he or she got enraged so much you wonder if you killed their mother. “Try not to do to others what you won’t desire them to do to you”. It’s thus crucial to identify the high stress times and make a deliberate effort to stay calm and cool with the grace of God on your side. But note that if this stressful condition continues for a long time, you will lack the will power to control your emotions, your best bet is to rest sufficiently to calm down your nerves.

DEFENSVENESS
Anger many times can become a tool used by many of us to defend ourselves from people who constantly condemns or blame us for doing one thing or the other wrong. We have been made to feel guilty so much that we simply get angry once someone mentions anything close to that topic. We are trying to protect ourselves from the pain of guilt and self-condemnation. So be careful in your relationship, stop looking for scape goats all the times. When things go wrong, stop asking, “Who did this or who did that” looking for who to blame always causes tension in the air and emotions will start flaring as soon as you find culprit. Even if you know who to blame for something, refuse to blame, just solve the problem and help the person save face. Most people already have enough heavy burdens of guilt and shame they are carrying up and down, they do not need you to add to it, especially not in a relationship. Some people are always accusing their spouse of one thing or the other, if you put him or her in a defensive mode all the time, you may grooming a defensive person and have an angry person on your hands to deal with all the days of you married life.

PRIDE AND LOWSELF ESTEEM
Pride easily gets angry because he is always trying to protect his ego from being bruised. He is so inflamed in his sense of impotence such that if any one makes him feel lesser than that consciously or unconsciously, they would react in anger towards that person.
Note also that pride is a compensatory mechanism for low self-esteem, so you see how that pride is afraid of losing worth and getting humiliated, so anger becomes a way to protect their pride or to gain self-esteem. Some people cut others down in anger in other to gain their self-importance.

In summary, we establish the fact that anger really is telling us about deeper issues and problems that we are having, so next time you get angry ask yourself that, is this anger really about and allow God to deal with that issue in your life

CONFESS THIS
Lord I refuse every negative fuel perpetually sponsoring anger in my life in jesus name

PRAY THIS
Lord, purge me of wrong thoughts and emotions in jesus name.

DO THIS
Prayerfully Read all the previous articles on anger and apply them appropriately

STUDY THIS
Prov 26;17-22

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Ayo Garuba (pst)

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ANGRY BUT HURTING

ANGRY BUT HURTING
(part 3 Emotional Outburst)

Anger is a deception that attempts to protect one against hurts. Anger is a sign of deep rooted emotional wounds that we are nursing in our souls. As a matter of fact, when you see someone get angry, you have seen someone who is afraid of getting wounded and hurt by the object of anger or the situation.

Prov 19:11
“The discretion of a man makes him slow to anger, and his glory is to overlook a transgression”

How does emotional wounds come, they come from things that has been done to us from our past, hurtful words, adverse situations, a certain failure, an oppression, anything that causes us intense pain in the past can trigger extreme anger in the future if we have not been healed from them.
Most people who are controlled by anger are actually like that because they are trying to prevent the past from repeating itself. They are afraid of pain of loss or pain of one thing or the other. Someone in my past did something terrible to me that hurt me, broke my heart, caused me losses, inflicted me with pain, so therefore I come up with rules unconsciously that states what people are permitted to do in my life or not, what words or actions are permitted and as soon as someone begins to break that rule I get provoked and react in anger. Why? The reason is because I feel that if this person does this thing, it will hurt me again, or if I do not punish this person by hurting them back through my angry words or actions, they might repeat it. So therefore anger becomes a means of punishment for people in other to prevent them from doing such to us, we take vengeance through anger to get back at our source of threat or possible source of pain.
Understanding this is very crucial, it makes you able to understand angry people and help them to put their anger into perspective. We must understand that the aim of anger is to eliminate source of threat. Anger’s objective is to identify what wants to cause us pain and then “destroy’ that thing. Why does anger try to eliminate source of threat, because he doesn’t want to be hurt by that threat again, so notice people who get angry easily, they have been hurt in the past immensely and the only way they know to cope with that situation, the only way they know to prevent themselves from getting hurt is by the fierceness of anger, so anger becomes a form of protect wall for them, yet anger doesn’t exactly protect us, it exposes us to more hurts. In our bid to protect ourselves, we hurt the people in our lives instead. When we hurt the people that we supposedly care about, it becomes increasingly difficult to have joy and peace ourselves. As at that moment when we are angry we may feel powerful and in control, we may even feel a sense of security, since “you won’t take nonsense” and “next time, they won’t try that nonsense with you” but when anger subsides, then we begin to hurt out of regrets and guilt. We may have lost integrity and our reputation.
“What we lose from anger is often more than what we gain from it”
The fear of pain is always at the root of anger. The fearful anticipation that you may hurt by people often provokes anger in them. It is thus important to respond to angry people with understanding and gentleness, find out what they are afraid of, find out why they are reacting that way, respond with empathy and understanding. Help them to alleviate their fears, make them feel secured and protected. Their anger should not provoke you to anger, that would be a very wrong response. You must respond with understanding.
If he gets angry with you over a matter, find out what exactly in that situation is responsible for his fears, what hurt or pain from the past is that situation reminding him of? What wrong belief does he have that makes him react like that? If he gets angry with you anytime he sees you talking with another guy, don’t get angry at him that he is always jealous; your response should be that of assurance. Tell him, he should understand that no one can ever replace him in your life, that you are sorry you took so much time with that person, let him know no one can access your heart except him. And don’t just say it, act it and let him see that you make him a priority in your life.
“Relationship should be a healing place not a battle place where we hurt one another.”
In this true life example, A young lady whose father left their mother in a divorce for another woman obviously would have a very strong jealousy issue, because every time she sees you with another lady she is reminded of what happens to her mother and she fights with you. Don’t complain about her, just reassure her and prioritize her, she needs healing and total acceptance. This actually happened to a lady I met who had a romantic interest in me but would be very jealouse when she sees talking me with ladies in my church or school. I later realized her jealousy had nothing to do with me but everything to do with her past with her parent’s divorce. Even though God never permitted a relationship with her, yet, she would be jealouse. Why should a lady be jealouse over someone she is not even in a relationship with? That’s the result of past hurts.
Maybe the lady in your life gets angry whenever you say a joke, you refer to her in a funny way, she may feel humiliated and angry, she may be reminded of those who made mockery of her in the past and she may react out of anger at seemingly innocuous statements, don’t react back in anger, she may not be able to respond appropriately to comments that sounds close to ridicule. What you must do is constantly say words that encourage her, words that put confidence in her, words of affirmation, always speak to sooth her heart and her emotions. You must become like a healer in your relationship. Allay her fears, make your relationship a conducive place for her to flourish, refrain from actions or words that can make her hurt or afraid, and in case you mistakenly hurt her , apologize and help sooth her emotions.
This is one aspect of relationship people don’t understand. Conflict will always happen if you are not sensitive to the emotions of people and if you don’t know what triggers people’s emotional wounds from the past, you will constantly get into a fight with them. Why do people fight with us, they fight because they are trying to stop you from being a source of pain to them. People fight to get the love or acceptance they have been deprived of or to get healed. So when you notice any little reaction of anger or withdrawal in people, identify what is hurting them and do your best to help them to heal.
CONFESS THIS
I receive grace to be sensitive to the emotions of people around me and to be a healer hearts and not a killer in jesus name
PRAY THIS
Lord, every emotional hurts in the past that predisposes me to unhealthy anger. Heal me of it in jesus name.

DO THIS
Pray for your spouse for emotional healing and call their attention to whatever is triggerring this anger from the past so that they can be healed by the holyspirit.

STUDY THIS
Psm 23:1-6

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Ayo Garuba (pst)

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BEFORE YOU LOSE YOUR COOL…

BEFORE YOU LOSE YOU COOL….

You can’t lose your temper and not lose your senses with it. Those who hold their peace are wise, so be wise.

Eccl 7:9
9 Do not hasten in your spirit to be angry, For anger rests in the bosom of fools. NKJV
Anger is a very tricky emotion, once you give it a foothold it will take over your world The greatest subtlety that makes anger thrive is the delusion that it can be excused. The mentality that I should get angry and it’s my right to get angry. Once you have this excuse, anger will fester in your life like a virus and will damage vital things in your life. Have you noticed that anger in itself never really changes anything except for worse, because whatever positive change you acquire through anger and strife will not only be temporary, it will also require constant outburst to maintain.
You got angry with her the last time not to repeat that mistake, and she did, now you are angrier that despite your last anger and warning, she or he still repeated the mistake. If you don’t stop that cycle of anger, it will hang you on a hanger.
It is foolishness to be angry over something that you can predict will get you angry.
Yet that is what happens all the time. Most of us know what gets us angry but because we think they are good enough reasons to be angry we permit the emotions of anger to reign. I mean, the moment you know something can provoke you, can’t you choose for it not to provoke you again. I mean why won’t you learnt from your last episode and choose that the next time this situation happens again, I will not react that way? That means you are growing. But the moment you permit the lie that anger is excusable, the moment you think it’s you right to be angry, you become irresponsible with your emotion.
Growth is the capacity to have a gradual improvement in every area of your, physically, spiritually and especially emotionally overtime, it is being better today than you were yesterday in each area of your life. Any growth that doesn’t include an improvement in your emotional response to situations and people is fake, since real growth is reflects majorly in our emotional responses.
The other delusion of anger is the excuse that other people makes us feel anger we noted yesterday that that is not true since we are responsible for how we respond to what people do to us.
To control anger you must understand it. And we will attempt to help us to appreciate it.
Anger is a habit formed from a wrong mind-set that we learn as we grew up. We saw people around us get ‘results’ through anger and we just simply copy them, our father will usually blow off the top of the roof when something goes wrong, now that you are a father, and you are almost blowing up the top of the head of your wife. That’s why it is unwise to defend an emotion you display, since you learnt it, you can unlearn it. It is not the best you can be, it’s just the best you presently know, so you can choose to Change. Whatever we learnt in the past can be unlearnt in the moment and overtime. But we must understand how to deal with this emotion.

Anger is a negative emotion whose attempt is to take control of a situation that is getting out of control. Anger operates from a perception of threat to our wellbeing. It actually originates from fear.
An angry person thus is a fearful person trying to fight his source of perceived danger.
Mind you, the danger is a perception. Not necessarily a reality. Most of what we are angry about are really due to how we think, not based on the situation itself. If not, why is it that what made you angry made others to laugh, sometimes what got us angry actually makes others to respond with compassion. That is why your anger is actually a sign of how ignorant you are. The wiser you are, the better you respond emotionally to situations. That is why anger still has its address in the bosom of a fool
Assumptions are the fuels of the fire of rage. Most angry people will assume the worse possible about people and situations. They are sure the person did what he did intentionally, they are sure the other person is trying to cheat them or take them for granted, they are sure she meant what she did not say, that the way he or she looks at them actually means something hidden. Angry people always have a reason to be angry and that is the problem. Until you change your mind-set and know that there is no good reason on earth to be angry you will still continue to struggle with anger.
As a matter of fact, anger is a fool’s easy way out of a simple situation that got complicated because of lack of wisdom on the fool’s part. The more wisdom you have the less angry you get. So next time you get angry, pause and ask yourself, what exactly is the truth about this situation, what is the best way to see this, what is the best response to that situation. That you are angry means you have wrong believes about that situation so take a moment and meditate, and do not just get angry, people who are thoughtful and prayerful will rarely be wrathful, and prayerful people will diffuse seemingly complicated situations with peace and everything gets settled amicable.

CONFESS THIS
I choose to live in peace with everyone and in every situation. At my home, workplace, on the road, everywhere I go to, peace reigns there in Jesus name.

PRAY THIS
Lord, I receive divine wisdom that makes me respond to situation with peace in Jesus name. I refuse to be a fool at any time, I am wise in Jesus name

DO THIS
Plan ahead never to get angry about any situation but f you find yourself in anger stop and think then pray about how you feel, tell God to take control of both your emotions and the situation.

STUDY THIS
PHILIP. 4:4-9

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Ayo Garuba (pst)

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EMOTIONAL OUTBURST

EMOTIONAL OUTBURST

If anger is your natural way of expressing yourself in a relationship then you are a wrong candidate for relationship

Prov 16:32
Better to be slow to anger than to be a mighty warrior, and one who controls his temper is better thang one who captures a city.

No one is safe with an angry person, in fact Solomon said not to make friend with one, you know why? An angry person will hurt you and everybody he or she is in a relationship with. Anger will damage a relationship more than the many ‘sorrys’ that you can say after you have destroyed things angrily. An angry person will say things they could never take back, do things that would ruin years of hard work and investment. Don’t take your emotional outburst as natural or normal, if you do, it will natural lead you into trouble all the time. An emotion you refuse to deal with will definitely deal with you. So you must recognise this monster of anger and eliminate it before it destroys you and your loved ones.
Emotional outburst is not your personality, it is a problem, stop defending it. Some people say “that’s the way I am, I get angry quickly and that’s all”, my question is “why can’t you learn how to control yourself instead of allowing that anger to control you?”
I hear things like, “he got me angry or she got me angry.” Nooo! No one can get you angry except you. People have the right to do or say anything they want, but you have an equal duty to not allow what people do or say to affect you. Since you cannot control what people will do or say, please learn to control yourself.
The truth is there is nothing in this world that is worth losing your cool over, am sure you can think of a thousand things that you can explain as good enough reason to be angry about but the truth is “must you really be angry?” can’t you choose to be calm no matter what. Most times we get angry at people that we can control if not why is it that the last time your boss in the office said something that offended you didn’t dare to burst out in anger, you were still smiling and thanking him? You were wise enough to know that your temper is not worth losing together with your pay check. If you can control your temper in front of your boss, why can’t you do the same for your spouse.
Maturity is the capacity to take personal responsibility for your thoughts, word and emotions. It is knowing fully well that you are responsible for your responses to people and no one can be blamed for how you behave
Some will argue that a healthy relationship should be a place of free expression of your feelings, exactly why many people are freely losing their marriages. If you think you can become careless with your spouse and ‘freely’ get angry with him or her, you may push this person to look for solace somewhere else. We are often in the habit of taking people we supposedly love for granted while we pretend to care for those who don’t know us well enough to give a hoot about us. Your loved one’s deserve your best behaviours, please give it to them.
Most people get angry in an effort to control situations or people yet “your red eye can’t control anything” if you want to control anything, then try controlling yourself. A man who have mastered his own emotions is better than a man who has conquered a great city. Anyone in a relationship with an angry person is in a relationship with trouble. If you are the one please get out of it especially if the relationship wasn’t initiated by God in the first place. An angry man can even have a successful relationship with himself, talk less of with someone else, he will ruin it with his anger
Relationship is not a place to test emotional bombs and see how explosive your temper can be. Don’t say things like “if he or she loves me, he or she will accept me and my emotional out burst” the truth is, if you love them “you will not hurt or injure them with your emotional outburst.”
Most people who cannot control their love desires will often not be able to control their anger as well. Since they have not learnt and mastered their love emotions, they won’t be able to master their emotion of anger too. They haven’t learnt patient through waiting, they haven’t learnt to deny themselves of some emotional gratifications, they always want relationship and they want it now. They often will get angry with their partner if they are not getting the satisfaction they want from that person. To them anger is a form of controlling others and manipulating them. These people who are prone to entering relationship indiscriminately will often get angry this way too. They are often very lovely and kind at first but they will easily lose their temper because they never owned it in the first place.so be careful with easy to get babes or guys, not that playing hard means patience, but that someone is nice on the outside doesn’t mean the person doesn’t have anger issues, so be careful
Note, it is not manly to be angry; it is childish to be angry so please be a man and hold your peace.
Most angry people are also fearful people; anger is a sign of weakness and timidity. As opposed to what most of us think, anger is not a sign of strength, it’s a sign of weakness. They may appear strong on the surface, but their anger is a cover up for what they are afraid of. So when next you get angry, ask yourself what am I afraid of?

CONFESS THIS
I take personal responsibility for my emotions from now on, I will take control of it in Jesus name

PRAY THIS
Lord, help me to become wise enough to control my emotions in Jesus name.

DO THIS
Watch out for every moment of anger and tell yourself that’s not the best response, then pray to God to help you. Choose not to respond to situations whenever you are angry, wait until you are calm

STUDY THIS
Math 5:21-26

Pls share this with others

Yours In Love
Ayo Garuba (pst)

For counseling and feedbacks
Contact me

AYO GARUBA@ facebook
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PHONE NO: 081775547192

HEART POINTS 5

HEART POINTS 5

The desire that doesn’t come from God will take you far from God. If it takes you far from God it’s not Love, it’s Lust.

Desires cannot be totally eliminated, they can only be replaced by other better desires.

Every desire requires an object for satisfaction, the danger of desires lies in looking to the wrong things to satisfy an otherwise healthy desire.

What determines what should be the object of our affection shouldn’t be what we think, or what our society says, it should be what the word of God says about that need in our lives.

True love is first a spiritual decision than just an emotion.

True love is a decision based on an instruction from God to love one person as your life partner for the rest of your life

Someone can be good and still not be good for you in a relationship…so ask God who is good for you, not who is good.

God’s silence over your relationship question doesn’t imply consent, more often than not it means “No”, so learn that.

If your love for someone has a reason behind it, then what you are feeling is not true love, since if that person loses that quality your love will evaporate and true love never fails

An emotional need is not necessarily lacking in true love, but that need is secondary , instruction is primary

Pls share this with others

Yours In Love
Ayo Garuba (pst)

For counseling and feedbacks
Contact me

AYO GARUBA@ facebook
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PHONE NO: 081775547192

PASSIONATELY SANE

PASSIONATELY SANE

One thing you must understand about all our emotional desires and every attraction we feel and experience for people is that they are not out of control, they are not just erratic, they can be mastered, redirected and controlled. This will happen the moment you understand the dynamics of these emotions, how they originate and how they operate, you will be able to take charge of your desire by the power of the holy Spirit that is on the inside of you.

Ps 4:4
Be angry, and do not sin. Meditate within your heart on your bed, and be still. NKJV

A word of caution here though, you must understand that the control of your emotional desires will not happen overnight, it won’t be instantaneous, since they were formed into such strong strongholds over many years, it will take you weeks and months to gain mastery, but you will experience daily improvements corresponding to the degree of personal investment you put into working on yourself.

The first thing you must do is:

Become aware of your internal emotional experiences on a regular basis.
The question here is “what am I feeling right now?” Or “What is the name of the emotion that I am feeling?”
Every emotion has a name and what they imply when you experience them.
Seven basic emotions include.
Anger, sadness, happiness, love, hatred, curiosity, fear
The emotion we are talking about here is that of love or attraction for something. We have tried to expansiate on this emotion previously so all we need to do is become aware and define them
The second question is; what is the object of this emotion and why?
Who am I targeting this emotion of affection towards and why?
Why this guy? Why this girl? Is there a reason why I like this person? Is it a character I saw or their appearance? Is it what they have or the way they do things?
Most of us are drawn by some certain attributes or qualities in people that we perceive will satisfy some certain deep needs on the inside of us, so the question is why do I love this particular person? The way you know this is that if that particular attribute is totally removed form that person, would you still be attracted towards them? If the answer is no! then you have nailed the sponsoring attribute that stimulated your desires in the first place, this is off course apart from the fact that you just have a need to be loved.
If your love for someone has a reason behind it, then what you are feeling is not true love, since if that person loses that quality you love will evaporate and true love never fails
Thirdly; What need in me are my hoping or anticipating they will satisfy.
Is it a need to be loved and accepted?
Is it a need to be cherished and cared for?
Is it just security that I am looking for?
Am I looking for survival?
Or is it my spiritual needs that this person is meeting?
Asking these questions opens your eyes and helps you to think about how you feel, so that you can take control of how you feel by the mind of Christ
Note: a need is not necessarily lacking in true love, but that need is secondary , instruction is primary

Fourthly, Is this person right for me? Should this person be the one to meet this need?
To answer this question you must understand what a God says about this desire that you have. Only someone that you intend to marry can you target some certain emotions towards, this leads us to the next question
What is God’s take about this person? Have i asked God about what he thinks about what am feeling.
Have I prayed about it or am just operating by my personal belief about this person?
The next thing is
Refuse to act out your emotions
Stop feeding your heart with anything that will stir up your emotions. Novels, movies, spending time fantasizing and imagining things
Redirect your emotions towards loving God.
Meditating on the word of God is very powerful in replacing wrong thought systems with the right thoughts that will generate the correct emotions on your inside,
Meditation involves searching suitable scriptures that is relevant to our thoughts and emotions and analyzing them with the aim to understand and internalize them, the more your thoughts are focused on the word of God, the more control you have over your emotions and thoughts.
Also remember telling God how you feel and calling him to help you control your emotions very key. Since the effectual fervent prayer of the righteous man avails much
And remember, control is gradual, you didn’t get this way overnight, so it will require time and discipline to attain mastery. And if you fail, ask God for Grace and keep trying.

CONFESS THIS
Lord, thank you because your spirit helps me to be emotionally and passionately sane.

PRAY THIS
Lord I pray that you fill me up with your spirit of peace joy and wisdom to help me remain in you in every aspect of my life

DO THIS
Worship regularly to be filled by the spirit, focus on his spirit and your emotions will get under.

STUDY THIS
EPHESIANS 5:15-20

Pls share this with others

Yours In Love
Ayo Garuba (pst)

For counseling and feedbacks
Contact me

AYO GARUBA@ facebook
BB PIN: 2BC8AA56
PHONE NO: 081775547192

WHY THIS SILENCE O LOVE

…WHY THIS SILENCE, O LOVE?

Charles sits right there in the classroom as the lecturer teaches, his mind has been pre-occupied and very busy nowadays, not so much with school work but with heart work. His emotions are on fire, he hasn’t felt this way in a long time for anyone, but since he set his eyes on this Lizzy girl, everything has changed. She seems to have become the object of his desires from that day on. She is the only source of his dreams and fantasies nowadays. Even his nights seem longer than usual, the day drags along, life seem to have come to a stop for him.
Since about six months when he started feeling this attraction for Lizzy, he has been unable to explicitly expressed his emotion to her, because he was waiting on God for a go ahead. So he has prayed and prayed, even asked some of his Christian friends to pray to God on his behalf. but all his prayers has gone seemingly un-replied by God and now he is getting tired and miserable.
Three months ago he had started conversing with Lizzy and their friendship had grown in an interesting way, almost like their feelings were mutual, everything else is going on green light for him except for the light from above, it seem to be in the black. He wishes he could express all he feels for her but he still isn’t sure what God is saying about it
The Question here is, what should Charles do.?

Eccl 3:7-8
A time to keep silence, And a time to speak; 8 A time to love, And a time to hate NKJV

The above short narration describes the experiences of so many people who are trying to clarify from God if the object of their affection is God’s desire for them or not. And since God sometimes do not seem in a hurry to reply us or he seem quiet over the matter, we experience a frustration that accompanies waiting for God to give us a go ahead or tell us an outright no!
The easiest mistake to make here is to then go into a relationship with the object of our affection despite having not received any go ahead from God, this is mostly how wrong relationships starts for many so called ‘spiritual people’. This article is God’s way of talking about his silence. So listen

WE HAVE NOT BECAUSE WE NEVER ASK:

The first issue is to assume you have asked God about someone when in actual fact you haven’t actually said a word to God about e matter sometimes it’s because you are even afraid to ask him his take about the matter because you are afraid God would tell you No! They don’t trust God understands their feelings or will give them their object of desire. My friends the first thing here is that you must take that question to God and ask him don’t assume it, ask him in your time of prayer.

WE ASK AND RECEIVE NOT BECAUSE WE ASK AMISS
Sometimes God is silent because we are asking him the wrong questions. For example, “Lord I want so so and so person, give her to me”, that is not a question that is a demand. So there is no way you can expect a direct answer until you ask God a very direction “lord show me, is this my wife or my husband”. Don’t ask: “Is this person good for me?” Since someone can be good for you and still not be your life partner. Don’t ask, lord will she or her make me happy?
That is not the question to ask . Neither should you place a flee before God “if his person is my wife or my husband let him call me today or let him greet me good morning or let her be the first person that I will see. Please don’t place a flee before God, Satan can easily arrange answers to those type of questions. But go to God in prayer in sincerity and openness and ask God: “is this person my life partner and show me through all the ways that I can’t miss it: God will often show you in more than two three ways , no just your dreams or a voice. Three or more witnesses is the standard.

HE IS SIMPLY NOT INTERESTED IN DISCUSSING THE MATTER WITH YOU
Sometimes God’s way of telling you he is not interested in that person as your life partner is his silence. People often mistook the silence of God as consent. That may be true with man but never with God. If God say nothing, you just assume he is saying a big NO until he speaks.

HE MAY BE TELLING YOU “ITS NOT TIME FOR YOU TO KNOW’
Sometimes God is simply saying, this isn’t what you should be asking me now, so am not going to talk to you about that matter. Sometimes you may ask him about life partner and he tells you about your career or ministry. You wonder, you ask him about relationship, he shows you visions about lives that need salvation. That is his way of telling you, “That’s not what we should be discussing now”

HE ANSWERED BUT YOU TOTALLY IGNORED IT TO WAIT FOR A BETTER REPLY
Sometimes those who claim God hasn’t spoken to them missed what he told them or they totally ignored what he said since they do not like what he is saying, so they assume he is not talking until he says something favorable. God and retrace all the revelations or things God has told you in the past, your answer is probably there.

HE IS TEACHING YOU PATIENCE, AND TESTING YOU TO KNOW IF YOU WILL WAIT ON HIM
Also note that many of us do not ask until he speaks, we just pray and after we hear nothing, in a short time, we go ahead and make our own decisions, we must be very careful here.

The mistake many of us make is we then start relationship with the person while still “waiting on God for a yes”. Most often than not, since we are already in the relationship, we won’t hear God clearly any more. We would be blinded by our passions. And it becomes more difficult to even obey God if he speaks, so it’s advisable, until he speaks don’t start that relationship. It’s called “THE LAW F ENTRANCE” Once you break this law, its gets difficult to hear God concerning the matter
.
“THE LAW OF ENTRANCE”
“Never, ever get into any kind of intimate relationship with anyone under any circumstances or conditions inspired by your environment, people or internal pressures, until you are totally convinced and assured by divine instruction, and spiritually guided through careful investigation using scriptural choosing parameters, and you have ascertain that, that is the God ordained and right person for you, and you are ready to be married to the person if he or she agrees after he or she had ascertain it also in a similar way”

Quote, from past devotional ON CHOOSING YOUR LIFE PARTNER…AYO GARUBA

CONFESS THIS
Lord I choose to trust in your will for me

PRAY THIS
Lord I receive the grace to wait on you and not to get ahead of you to make my own choices

DO THIS
Stop that friendship now until God speaks

STUDY THIS
Psalm 37:1-8

Pls share this with others

Yours In Love
Ayo Garuba (pst)

For counseling and feedbacks
Contact me

AYO GARUBA@ facebook
BB PIN: 2BC8AA56
PHONE NO: 081775547192