WHY CONFLICTS IN RELATIONSHIPS
Conflicts are signs of deep seated issues in a relationship, the more internal issues there are in a relationship, the more potential for external conflicts exist and if people do not understand how to recognize and resolved silent brewing issues in their relationships, it may blow up in their faces as a thriving conflict.
20 Where there is no wood, the fire goes out; And where there is no talebearer, strife ceases. 21 As charcoal is to burning coals, and wood to fire, So is a contentious man to kindle strife. NKJV
What many school of thought is teaching in our churches and popular books are conflict resolutions, what am advocating is conflict prevention. And this is very possible
The beginning of strife is like releasing water;
Therefore stop contention before a quarrel starts.
The fact is that every conflict usually have a beginning, it is wisdom to identify such potential conflicts and nip them in the bud. when two people are in a conflict one or two of them are in foolishness. So we must choose the path of wisdom. There is nothing worthwhile to prove in a fight, if you don’t acquire wisdom to understand each other and the issue at hand, throw fist and shoot arrows of words all you can, it will only worsen problems , not resolve them.
TOP TEN REASONS WHY CONLFICTS HAPPEN IN A RELATIOSNHIP
1. WRONG PARTNERS
The greatest source of conflict in any relationship is that God is not the initiator of that relationship. Once the two of you enter by your own calculations, then you are in for possible contentions. If you didn’t hear from God in your relationship you will experience serious conflicts in your relationship. Since both of you will never be secured in that relationship. Its only when God is in the picture for the two of you that all goes well. There are issues that might want to occur if you choose by God’s direction, but it won’t overwhelm the two of you. Unlike if you choose naturally, you will get into all manner of conflicts over trivial matters. One serious sign you may not be meant for each other or that you choose the wrong person is that you are both always fighting. Think about it.
If you find yourself always throwing a tantrum at the slightest provocation in your relationship, it is obvious you are not matured or wise enough. Immature people are like children who are so selfish and self-centered, they want what they want and they want it their own way at the expense of the other person. You may be in the right relationship but be a wrong person because you are just simply too underdeveloped emotionally and intelligently to place your priorities right. Immature person is controlled by his or her emotions instead of him to control his emotions and address the issue at hand practically. The solution to immaturity is growth. You must study the word of God until you understand how to respond to every situation of life. Immaturity is simply lack of wisdom, so get wisdom
3. EXPECTING CONFLICTS
You must understand this one well, you don’t have to fight or raise your voice or get angry with your spouse to communicate with the person. With patience and prayer you can communicate important things to them and the holy spirit will help them to see it.
Better is a dry morsel with quietness,
Than a house full of feasting* with strife.
If God expect us to be in strife he wouldn’t tell us to escape to the roof top than live with a contentious woman or man, the bible expects a quiet and conflict free home, not a war zone, so please ask for wisdom to have that kind of relationship and family. That anger can’t earn you anything good.
4. SELF CENTREDNESS
If it’s all about you and what you can get from the other person at any cost, the two of you will always be in a conflict. If you both prefer the other to yourself, there will never really be issues between the two of you. The bible is very clear on this matter.
3 Let nothing be done through selfish ambition or conceit, but in lowliness of mind let each esteem others better than himself. 4 Let each of you look out not only for his own interests, but also for the interests of others. NKJV
You simply have to put the other person first before you; relationship thrives of self-sacrifice not self-centeredness. If both of you look out for each other, you won’t have to worry about your personal needs being met, it will be met
TO BE CONTINUED
O Lord, I choose a conflict free marriage in Jesus name
Lord, I declare peace into my relationship and my marriage in Jesus name.
Sit down and evaluate the real reasons why conflicts has existed in your relationship in the past and pray about them to make sure they don’t repeat itself again
Please share this with others
Yours In Love
Ayo Garuba (pst)
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AYO GARUBA@ facebook
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