7 THINGS YOU ARE ‘YES’ TO WHEN YOU SAY ‘YES’ IN LOVE (Part 3)
It is wrong to do anything without an understanding of what we are doing; same goes for getting into a relationship with anyone. It’s very crucial when trying to go into a love relationship not to just do it based on like, love or sentiments, you must do it based on principle and clear understanding of the repercussion of what you are doing or saying. You must clearly count the cost. Let your yes be yes and your ‘no’ be ‘no’, don’t just mumble some words to the person and say “let’s see how it goes’. And for anyone doing the asking, don’t assume the person has said yes, ask them what they are saying yes to.
Anything done without faith and conviction is a sin
Anything less than this is clearly an error, a mistake that can cause trouble in the future. Relationship is not a fun fair where kids go to play, it’s a work-fair where adults go to work out their lives together with love and serious discipline.
Okay you are about to say yes and you have considered and come into terms with the person’s past, the future of the person and the associations of this person, you know you are saying ‘yes’ for real and for the rest of your life, there is no going back, what else do you need to know that you are saying ‘yes’ to
5. YOU ARE SAYING YES TO THEIR STRENGHTS
People will have strengths that they bring into relationship, they will be different from you, you must recognize it and accept it. Do not turn people’s strength into a liability for them by complaining about people’s strength or by trying to change them, if you do not Love the passion, the grace or strength of character the person is displaying and you feel threatened by them, please you may not be qualified for them. Strength is suppose to be a good thing, examine their talent and their skills presently, know what they will be good at doing and know that once you marry them, you will cheer them on concerning their visions and this strength that they have,
6. YOU ARE SAYING YES TO THEIR WEAKNESS ALSO
No matter how strong people are, they will come into the relationship with their weakness, vulnerabilities and frailties: Your role will not be to be complaining about them and be trying to ‘beat’ them into shape. Your duty will be to accept and to protect them, while you complement and help them with your strength. please don’t give me the line of “I will develop them”, what if they don’t develop, what if those weakness and bad habits are going to remain forever, it will be your duty to simply support them and be there for them in these areas. Mind you I am not advocating people not growing in their relationship, I am only saying that it is safer and better to say ‘yes’ with a mindset that will not predispose you to conflicts in the future. If I were you, I will keep improving my own weakness, but you must create a loving environment of unconditional acceptance for your spouse where either they change or not, you are okay. So, when you are saying yes to them, you are saying: “I accept you this way for ever, and I will support you when you are weak, would you please support me too when I am weak”. This is how you create a loving atmosphere in your relationship
7. YOU ARE SAYING YES TO THEIR PERSONALITY
Before marriage, we often love spouse’s nature and temperaments, after marriage many begins to complain about the same personality which attracted them to their mate in the first place, so watch it! People’s personalities do not change, their character can change, their passion and vision can mature, but their personalities do not change. If they are the quiet type, they will always be the quiet type. If they are rough and rigid now, they will always be like that. don’t assume, “I will change him”. like I have been saying, you are not saying ‘yes so that you can help fix him, he Is not broken’. You are saying; “yes I will love you and accept you, since you are mine”, their nature is their nature, they didn’t create their nature, just like you didn’t cause your nature also into existence. Character can change, but personality does not change.
8. YOU ARE SAYING YES TO THEIR FAITH AND THEIR CONVICTION
Faith determines future, conviction determines character. Faith and conviction will be the most powerful influence over your marital relationship with the other person, if you do not totally accept their faith and conviction , please do not say ‘yes’ to them. If your prospect is a catholic before marriage, don’t assume he will change into a Pentecostal. If he is Muslim, don’t say “my love will turn him into a Christian”, if he is an evangelical, don’t say I will turn him to orthodox. Any faith or conviction your prospect has now, the person may remain in it for ever. So ask yourself: “do I want to belong to this faith or live with this conviction for ever, if it is yes, then you can go ahead. Definition of faith is what someone beliefs and lives his life by; the principles and philosophy of life that guide someone. While the conviction is what they are ready to die for except you want to live and die with them on these things you may not be ready live and love them for life.
Yours in LOVE
PST AYO GARUBA
For counseling, feedbacks and preaching engagements Contact me
AYO GARUBA@ facebook
BB PIN: 28490864
PHONE NO:+234 (0) 8177554719