Monthly Archives: May 2014

7 THINGS YOU ARE ‘YES’ TO WHEN YOU SAY ‘YES’ IN LOVE (Part 3)

7 THINGS YOU ARE ‘YES’ TO WHEN YOU SAY ‘YES’ IN LOVE (Part 3)

 Saying-I-Do

It is wrong to do anything without an understanding of what we are doing; same goes for getting into a relationship with anyone. It’s very crucial when trying to go into a love relationship not to just do it based on like, love or sentiments, you must do it based on principle and clear understanding of the repercussion of what you are doing or saying. You must clearly count the cost. Let your yes be yes and your ‘no’ be ‘no’, don’t just mumble some words to the person and say “let’s see how it goes’. And for anyone doing the asking, don’t assume the person has said yes, ask them what they are saying yes to.

Anything done without faith and conviction is a sin

Anything less than this is clearly an error, a mistake that can cause trouble in the future. Relationship is not a fun fair where kids go to play, it’s a work-fair where adults go to work out their lives together with love and serious discipline.

Okay you are about to say yes and you have considered and come into terms with the person’s past, the future of the person and the associations of this person, you know you are saying ‘yes’ for real and for the rest of your life, there is no going back, what else do you need to know that you are saying ‘yes’ to

5. YOU ARE SAYING YES TO THEIR STRENGHTS

People will have strengths that they bring into relationship, they will be different from you, you must recognize it and accept it. Do not turn people’s strength into a liability for them by complaining about people’s strength or by trying to change them, if you do not Love the passion, the grace or strength of character the person is displaying and you feel threatened by them, please you may not be qualified for them. Strength is suppose to be a good thing, examine their talent and their skills presently, know what they will be good at doing and know that once you marry them, you will cheer them on concerning their visions and this strength that they have, 

6. YOU ARE SAYING YES TO THEIR WEAKNESS ALSO

No matter how strong people are, they will come into the relationship with their weakness, vulnerabilities and frailties: Your role will not be to be complaining about them and be trying to ‘beat’ them into shape. Your duty will be to accept and to protect them, while you complement and help them with your strength. please don’t give me the line of “I will develop them”, what if they don’t develop, what if those weakness and bad habits are going to remain forever, it will be your duty to simply support them and be there for them in these areas. Mind you I am not advocating people not growing in their relationship, I am only saying that it is safer and better to say ‘yes’ with a mindset that will not predispose you to conflicts in the future. If I were you, I will keep improving my own weakness, but you must create a loving environment of unconditional acceptance for your spouse where either they change or not, you are okay. So, when you are saying yes to them, you are saying: “I accept you this way for ever, and I will support you when you are weak, would you please support me too when I am weak”. This is how you create a loving atmosphere in your relationship

7. YOU ARE SAYING YES TO THEIR PERSONALITY

Before marriage, we often love spouse’s nature and temperaments, after marriage many begins to complain about the same personality which attracted them to their mate in the first place, so watch it! People’s personalities do not change, their character can change, their passion and vision can mature, but their personalities do not change. If they are the quiet type, they will always be the quiet type. If they are rough and rigid now, they will always be like that. don’t assume, “I will change him”. like I have been saying, you are not saying ‘yes so that you can help fix him, he Is not broken’. You are saying; “yes I will love you and accept you, since you are mine”, their nature is their nature, they didn’t create their nature, just like you didn’t cause your nature also into existence. Character can change, but personality does not change.

BONUS POINT

8. YOU ARE SAYING YES TO THEIR FAITH AND THEIR CONVICTION

Faith determines future, conviction determines character. Faith and conviction will be the most powerful influence over your marital relationship with the other person, if you do not totally accept their faith and conviction , please do not say ‘yes’ to them. If your prospect is a catholic before marriage, don’t assume he will change into a Pentecostal. If he is Muslim, don’t say “my love will turn him into a Christian”, if he is an evangelical, don’t say I will turn him to orthodox. Any faith or conviction your prospect has now, the person may remain in it for ever. So ask yourself: “do I want to belong to this faith or live with this conviction for ever, if it is yes, then you can go ahead. Definition of faith is what someone beliefs and lives his life by; the principles and philosophy of life that guide someone. While the conviction is what they are ready to die for except you want to live and die with them on these things you may not be ready live and love them for life.

 Yours in LOVE

PST AYO GARUBA 

 For counseling, feedbacks and preaching engagements Contact me

 AYO GARUBA@ facebook

TWITTER@ayo2gee

BB PIN: 28490864

PHONE NO:+234 (0) 8177554719

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Advertisements

7 THINGS YOU ARE ‘YES’ TO WHEN YOU SAY ‘YES’ IN LOVE (Part 2)

7 THINGS YOU ARE ‘YES’ TO WHEN YOU SAY ‘YES’ IN LOVE (Part 2)

wedding-couple
The demise of many marriages comes because most people that ventured into it did based on an half baked knowledge of what they were saying ‘yes’ to. Most people thought they were simp0ly just saying yes to romance and excitements, they were totally unprepared for the results and commitment of love, Yet they set out on a journey of love, no wonder there has been so much accidents on the relationship road of many.

Luke 14:28-29
For which of you, intending to build a tower, does not sit down first and count the cost, whether he has enough to finish it — 29 lest, after he has laid the foundation, and is not able to finish, all who see it begin to mock him.

If I were to give another title to this article series, it would have been “how to count the cost before you venture into love”. The truth is; if you don’t count the cost for love before you venture into it, you will at loss in love. If you do not prepare your mind for what to expect, you may soon become a suspect of love crimes. Counting the cost before venturing into love is what makes your love count. When you prepare well ahead of time, you will appear well when its time.
Let’s hit some more points on what we are saying yes to in love.
2. YOU ARE SAYING ‘YES’ TO HIS OR HER FUTURE
It is one thing to come into terms with someone’s past, it’s another thing to be ready and prepared to feature in their future. As a matter of fact, if you don’t see yourself in their future, it means you are not qualified to be there with them. In fact, one of the ways you can know if this person is for you is your ability to see that your futures align together.
You cannot negotiate people’s future with them; you can only agree to it or go your own way. People’s future often includes the place they agree to live in, the places they agree they will go to, the possibilities of the kind and quality of life they want to live in the future. You can tell the kind of future people will live in by examining their present involvements and engagements, check their preoccupations, check their plans or lack of it. Especially check their purposes, visions and dreams

3. YOU ARE SAYING YES TO HIS OR HER PURPOSE, VISIONS AND DREAMS
The picture he carries in his heart is linked to the purpose he is meant to fulfill on the earth. Until you know a man’s purpose, you cannot be that man’s partner (Same for a woman). Until you come to terms with their most predominant aspirations, you have no place in their future contemplations. Do not claim to love any one whose passions you are not in love with. So ask yourself, am I ready to support this person’s visions and ambitions in the future. Am I ready to make the sacrifices that his or her career requires? Am I ready to help him or her realize the dreams he is carrying in his heart. Will I follow him if he changes location for the purpose of birthing the dream in his heart? Am I ready to be a part of the plans he keeps talking about? Please do not be under the delusion that “his plans will change’, you must assume that he or she will get deeper into their passion and purpose, because apart from the fulfillment that your relationship with him will give him, his vision and passion will be one of the most gratifying endeavors he will be involved in, so please when you are saying yes to him, make sure you know the future you are saying yes to.
YOU ARE SAYING YES HIS OR HER ASSOCIATIONS
Do not assume because someone is in love with you, they will be out of love with their close associations. Ideally, we must make sacrifices for the sake of the new love that we found. We should detach ourselves from bottle neck associations and connections that do not foster growth and assistance to our love life, but do not assume that your future spouse will be able to make that kind of sacrifice like you, you must decide up front if you will be able to live with their present association for life with them even if they don’t change it, especially associations that they cannot change like family, relatives, professional colleagues and some certain close friends ‘of life”. If you cannot say yes to these associations, you may not be able to cope with the yes you say to them, so count the cost now.

CONFESS THIS
Lord, is empowered to make my relationship choices wisely in Jesus name
PRAY THIS
Lord, give me the wisdom to choose wisely and to succeed in my relationship life.

DO THIS
Study past articles related to this topic

STUDY THIS
Luke 14:25-35

Yours in LOVE
PST AYO GARUBA

For counseling, feedbacks and preaching engagements Contact me

AYO GARUBA@ facebook
TWITTER@ayo2gee
BB PIN: 282BF5E4
PHONE NO:+234 (0) 8177554719

7 THINGS YOU ARE SAYING ‘YES’ TO WHEN YOU SAY ‘YES’ IN LOVE

7 THINGS YOU ARE SAYING ‘YES’ TO WHEN YOU SAY ‘YES’ IN LOVE
will you marry me
A time comes in every one’s life when the big question will pop up, it is eitherA someone is asking you or you are the one doing the asking. It doesn’t matter which side you are, both of you have to answer the question in your mind before you pose the question to someone else or ask the question from someone else. The answer you give will determine everything else in your life. The answer you give at this point will determine the questions you will be confronted with for the rest of your life, the truth is once you answer this question, there is no going back on it Without a serious repercussion, once you give your reply, you determine your ultimate fate, so please ask and answer the question wisely, the question is…
“Will you marry me?”

Matt 5:37
But let your ‘Yes’ be ‘Yes,’ and your ‘No,’ ‘No.’ for whatever is more than these is from the evil one. NKJV

At what point to pose this question in a friendship? This is another topic of discussion for another day, because when it comes to matters of love and relationship commitment, what is being done and when it is being done is equally important, whenever you fail in either the content or the timing of action, pain is inevitable. That is why wisdom is profitable to direct.
But today let us examine what exactly the insight behind our answer is. When confronted with this crucial question you must remember that you can either say ‘Yes’ or ‘No’, you have a choice. We are only trying here to help you make an informed choice and not an emotional one. In previous articles, we have tried to explain to us “when to say ‘No’ to love”, but what if you feel ready for love and you are ready to say ‘Yes’, we like to help you appreciate what you are saying ‘Yes’ to, because whatever you say yes to today will determine what will say ‘No’ to you all your life. Your answer will leave your life either as a question mark or as an exclamation mark, choose wisely.
Let me quickly point out the ‘when’ of your saying ‘Yes’ in case you feel you are ready to say yes in Love
When you have fully discovered yourself:
When you are fully ready for the commitment of love
When you are ready for the results of love
When you have developed the character of a lover
When you have developed a conviction to be in love with this particular person

We have dealt with every aspect of the above points in the past , so you can scroll through our wordpress and facebook account to find out the topics related to them or you can message me personally to send you their links, but let’s go into the meat of today’s topic.
SEVEN THINGS YOU ARE SAYING ‘YES’ TO WHEN YOU SAY ‘YES’ IN LOVE
YOU ARE SAYING YES TO HIS OR HER PAST LIFE
Saying ‘Yes’ means you are willing to live the rest of your life with this person without a reconsideration of your decision in the future, that is what the bible says ‘what the lord has joined together , let no man put asunder”. But you cannot venture into the future with anyone whose adventure in the past you do not know. Your understanding of you future spouse will be determined by how much of their past you know and you have come into terms with. I am not subscribing to an unfolding of every very gory details of your lover’ past, but neither should we hide crucial information from each other either, we must reveal every important fact that will affect our relationship with this person in the future and we in turn must learn as much as we can about them. The truth is the memory of the past is one thing many people often grapple with in their relationships, the messier these memories are, the more difficulty they will have in venturing into the relationship future they have with their new found love. A Past you do not deal with, will deal with the two of you in a relationship. So mind you, before you say ‘Yes’, ensure you understand that you are saying ‘yes’ to this person’s past and the other person is saying yes to your own past. You are not going to use their past to judge them; neither will you use it against him or her. You are not going to return to their past, neither will you return to their own past. You must leave your past to cleave to you future…partner.

There are four crucial past factors you must note from here
Past mistakes
Past successes
Family Background
Present products from your past
You must seek to reveal and to understand these four areas of your past. Then you can move on to the next insight.
TO BE CONTINUED

CONFESS THIS
lord I thank you for what i have been learning in this daily devotionals, I praise you because I have grace to practice them

PRAY THIS
Lord, give me the courage to accept whom you send into my life and everything that comes with them.

DO THIS
Study past articles related to this topic

STUDY THIS
Matt 5

Yours in LOVE
PST AYO GARUBA

For counseling, feedbacks and preaching engagements Contact me

AYO GARUBA@ facebook
TWITTER@ayo2gee
BB PIN: 282BF5E4
PHONE NO:+234 (0) 8177554719

WHEN NO! IS THE BEST LOVE RESPONSE

WHEN NO! IS THE BEST LOVE RESPONSE

say no
What you say “No” to, will determine what says “yes” to you. In life you must develop the sensitivity and the mental acuity to recognize traps that presents themselves as opportunities. You must develop a see-through skill like superman eyes that is able to see into the true nature of a thing. When you are able to do this, you will save yourself a lot of unwanted future consequences

Therefore when Jesus perceived that they were about to come and take Him by force to make Him king, He departed again to the mountain by Himself alone. John 6:15 NKJV

Three incidences in the bible will alert you to the need to answer people and situations in life wisely before you venture into any part of it.

FIRST is EVE, most of the problems humanity is in right now would have been prevented if the day Eve saw the serpent she immediate recognized that relationship or friendship with this creature can get her into trouble. Proverbs 1 verse10 says “My son, if sinners entice you, do not consent.” This would have been easier for her to recognize if she had noticed the ‘Temptation factor’ or the ‘allurement factor’, if it is too good to be true at first glance, then it probably is, you must take a second look before you make a decision.

SECONDLY is JOSHUA: In Joshua chapter nine, commander of the arm forces of Israel went into an agreement with a certain foreign nation of ‘GIBEON’ without a consultation with God to find out if he should say a ‘yes’ to them or a ‘no’, he basically lost the ‘CONTRACT’. A nation that was supposed to be conquered and belong to them could not be possessed because of this agreement.

THIRD is JESUS, if Jesus had allowed himself to be made king in the natural world, he would have missed his spiritual destiny. it was the same platform that Satan used to tempt Jesus, ‘just say ‘yes’ to me and have all your dreams come true on the platter of gold”, but Jesus knew better “that not everything that glitters is gold”, “not every opened door is an entrance’. He chose his destiny wisely by saying ‘No’ to the ‘less than perfect’ offers. In this case saying No! to seemingly good things will save your destiny.

So note this: Every decision you make today will either get you closer to your destiny or get you farther away from it. Every choice you make today will either ensure your future affliction or open doors for celebration. So you must be careful how you make your choices in Love and in Life.

“NO” PREVENTS REGRETS
There are certain regrets you have today that could have been prevented if you simply said “no” to that person and you had gone your way. The heartache would have been prevented; you wouldn’t have had that child outside wedlock. You wouldn’t feel as terrible as you feel sometimes about you past if only you knew how to say a big NO.

NO! REQUIRES WISDOM
Ability to say NO is gotten via wisdom. It isn’t just based on your mental smartness. Most people believe that saying ‘yes’ is the smart thing to do and eventually thinking later. But before you say ‘yes’ to anything in life, pause and think, where would this decision take me to? Is this where I want to be in the future? Never fall for what looks obviously attractive and beneficial.”There is a way that seems right to a man, but the end there of is the way of destruction” This wisdom comes not just from your own experiences but from experiencing the truth of the word of God. You can just tell, this is not something you should agree to.

NO! REQUIRES SPIRITUAL SENSIVITY
Most often than not, you may never be able to see why saying ‘No’ is the best love response you can give, given what you sight tells you. It may require a certain level of spiritual insight to detect what is really going on. “A carnal or natural person cannot know the things of the spirit” wake up! This life is spiritual, don’t assume life is white and black, there are gray areas, don’t assume all there is to life is what your five senses can perceive; there are things only your spiritual eyes can detect. So develop that spiritual sensitivity by spending time with the word of God and communicating with the Holy Spirit.

NO! WILL DETERMINE WHAT SAYS ‘YES’ TO YOU
Once you are trapped in the wrong relationship, you miss out on the right one God was preparing for you all along. Once you get trapped in the wrong Job, the career that was meant for your blessing will often eludes you. So be very cautious and careful. Don’t get carried away easily. Don’t let pressure of life push you into the wrong relationships, don’t let your age force you prematurely into a relationship, don’t let your needs cloud your judgment. God’s Lead not personal need should direct you in life. Remain on top

CONFESS THIS
I receive the wisdom to reject ungodly, ‘less than your will offers’ in Jesus name

PRAY THIS
Lord, open my eyes to see the true nature of every decision I Want to take in every area of my life in Jesus name.

DO THIS
Pray about all your choices and do not make emotional decisions

STUDY THIS
JOSHUA 9

Yours in LOVE
PST AYO GARUBA

For counseling, feedbacks and preaching engagements Contact me

AYO GARUBA@ facebook
TWITTER@ayo2gee
BB PIN: 282BF5E4
PHONE NO:+234 (0) 8177554719

WHEN TO SAY NO TO LOVE!

WHEN TO SAY NO TO LOVE!

saying-no
Wisdom often requires the ability to know when best anything worthwhile is worth doing, but most people often lack this kind of relationship wisdom. Do it before its time and it is a disaster, do it after its time and it is most likely a mess.

Then Jesus said to them, “My time has not yet come…” John 7:6

Some couples of years ago while teaching some teenagers about relationship; I was shocked to hear that most of them have been into at least one relationship and some are even in relationships as at that time. They all believed they were ready for relationship. Here was I who was almost double the age of the least of them and I felt totally unprepared for love. I tried questioning them about their motive for relationship and if they think they were ready, their answers blew me away. How can these “kids” who do not even have a basic understanding of what life is about venture into a serious matter like ‘Love’. That was a couple of years ago. The situation is even worse now. Literarily, children of not less than ten years old I discovered are already even sexually active, it is amazing.
It’s easy to see how these ‘kids’ are totally unprepared for relationship and love, they can claim to be in love, but even we will laugh at their naivety or shear ignorance. What about children in adult skin? What about those of us that even though we have height but lack depth, even though we have fat accounts but thin accountability, even though we look good outwardly but inwardly we are a ‘ugly’ sight. The problem has never been that we are not equipped at a certain time for love, (Everyone at a certain point will be totally ill equipped for love) the problem is that we are totally ignorant of the fact that we are not yet equipped. We think because we ‘feel it’ that we ‘have it’, we believe that because have ‘grown in size’, we have actually “grown in our minds”. Many times I see mothers ‘breeding’ children that they are really not matured more than. The truth is they are not qualified to be ‘mothering’ these children, because they lack the basic quality that makes for life and love for their children. That someone can procreate doesn’t mean the person is qualified to be a father or a mother. Any fool can sleep with a prostitute and produce an offspring from her, but it takes total responsibility mentality to spring up into a total commitment to love and be ready for the result that love produces.
I will just mention a couple of times when we should say no to love.
WHEN YOU HAVEN’T DISCOVERED YOUR IDENTITY
How can you desire someone to love you when you don’t even know ‘you’? How can you give someone the herculean task of being in a relationship with someone who does not ‘exist’ yet in his or her mind? The term used for ‘sex’ in the bible is ‘to know’. The word used in “and Adam ‘knew’ his wife”. These goes beyond just appreciating her physically or having pleasure with her body. It is knowledge about someone that only comes through such intercourse, this word ‘to know’ describes for us the purpose and method of love. The purpose of love is to ‘know’ and the method of love is ‘by knowing’. When knowledge is absent, love can’t be present. So don’t claim to be in love with whom you don’t know, neither claim to love someone you haven’t totally reveal yourself to. If you haven’t discovered yourself, you cannot reveal yourself.
WHEN YOU AREN’T READY FOR THE COMMITMENT OF LOVE
I often ask people who claim to be in love and wants to be in a relationship instantly: “Are you ready to marry this person and be totally committed to them for life in the next six to twelve months” they often look at me dazed and say something like ‘off course not’’, then I reply them “then you are not ready for love”. The truth is: once the journey of love begins the end is determined, it either leads to a joyful matrimony or a tearful ‘disharmony’. If you don’t deliberately choose to determine the end of your relationship from the beginning, it will lead the two of you off track and you will end up in heart breaks. There is nothing like ‘let’s just see how it goes’ when you start a relationship, let me let you know where it will go ‘inside the lagoon”. The purpose of courtship is marriage, no matter how modernized we want to make it, once you don’t move towards marriage, you are moving towards disastrous mileage
WHEN YOU ARE NOT READY FOR THE RESULTS OF LOVE
Linked to the above is also the commitment to the results of love, are you ready for the children that ‘affair’ will bring, are you ready to care for this person the rest of your life? Are you ready to be financially responsible for this person all your life? Are you ready to carry his baby? Are you ready to be the shoulder he or she will cry on? Are you ready to be the person to cheer this person on all his or her life? Are you ready to go through the thick and thin with him or her? Are you committed to his or her vision for life? Have you decided that you want to share all of his her vision? Are you really ready for the results of this love affair? If you are not ready, please be honest enough to go back to the ‘school of love’.
WHEN YOU HAVEN’T DEVELOPED THE CHARCTER OF A LOVER
The way you are right now, would you love to be in a relationship with you? If the answer to this question is No! Then you are not ready for love. How can you even want someone to love you when you don’t love the way you are? You know the reason many do not love themselves is because they have not developed themselves. They lack love character. When I was a teenager I knew I was totally unprepared for love. I was at least wise enough to know this fact, so it kept me away from wrong relationships despite peer pressures and hormonal motivations to do so. I mean I was fully aware of all my inadequacies and flaws. I knew I was a disaster to any lady at that time if I should venture into any love affair with any one of them, but now I am very different because I decided I wanted to be the best husband my wife in the future would have, I have loaded myself with treasures that my sweet heart treasures. I am not advocating that you must be ‘perfect’ to be in love, but you must at least have basic Love character qualities that will make life happy and prosperous for the other person. If you are given to destructive characters like anger, selfishness, arrogance, unfaithfulness then work on yourself before bombarding heaven for your life partner.
Welcome back to your relationship daily devotional. Hope you had a wonderful Easter last week. WE CONTINUE TOMMOROW
CONFESS THIS
I receive the wisdom of the right timing for relationship in Jesus name

PRAY THIS
Lord, “help me to be patient and to be prepared for my time to venture into your ordained relationship in Jesus name

DO THIS
Keep studying and developing the right love characters

STUDY THIS
I Corinthians 13

Yours in LOVE
PST AYO GARUBA

For counseling, feedbacks and preaching engagements Contact me

AYO GARUBA@ facebook
TWITTER@ayo2gee
BB PIN: 282BF5E4
PHONE NO:+234 (0) 8177554719