Category Archives: spirituality

MARRIED BUT LIVING SINGLE

MARRIED BUT LIVING SINGLE

It’s possible to have something that you don’t own, and if you don’t own it, it will never satisfy you or give you joy

John 4:16-18
16 Jesus said to her, “Go, call your husband, and come here.” 17 The woman answered and said, “I have no husband.” Jesus said to her, “You have well said, ‘I have no husband,’ 18 for you have had five husbands, and the one whom you now have is not your husband; in that you spoke truly.”NKJV

We met this Samaritan woman at a peculiar point in time where she came to satisfy her thirst with so called “living water”, it is interesting to note that the well is not just an ordinary well, it was the well of Jacob and both the Jews and the Samaritans (who are like mixed breed Jews) come there to take this ‘living water”.
In a short form, this water was supposed to improve their life or give them some certain type of satisfaction in a sort of super natural way, at least so it seems “because Jesus then said to her in John 4:13-15 Jesus answered,

“Everyone who drinks this water will be thirsty again, 14 but whoever drinks the water I give him will never thirst. Indeed, the water I give him will become in him a spring of water welling up to eternal life. “NIV

It thus appears that the aim of people drinking the water was more than quenching their natural thirst , it was to quench their soul thirst, to quench their emotional thirst permanently, they were looking for a kind of fulfillment and satisfaction but it seems, as far as we know it , at least with this woman, that satisfaction eludes her, she keeps coming over and over again , which was the reason why she wanted the ‘Living water” in the first place, so that she won’t have to come back again, but so far so good, she has torn because she was still unfulfilled.

So Jesus offered to give what she has always wanted or needed
But first Jesus asked her for a drink, she went berserk, why?
“You can’t give what you don’t have”,
Can you compare her with Rebekah in the Old Testament, whom a stranger asked to give her water, she didn’t just give the man water, and she watered all his camel! Wow! Talk about overflowing satisfaction in a woman’s soul! But this Samaritan woman was different, she was so thirsty she makes other people miserable with her thirst.

So Jesus decided since she doesn’t have what she is looking for, he will help her, but not without connecting it with her most pressing need…a husband.
She has to come with HER HUSBAND to get the living river…this was where I got the shock of my life.

Jesus told the woman to go and bring her husband meaning she has a husband
Then the woman claimed she doesn’t have a husband and Jesus said she is correct

How?

Jesus then dropped the bomb shell,
You have a husband, in fact you have had husbands, but you have never had YOUR HUSBAND.

Then I noted what Jesus asked her to bring, not go and bring “A HUSBAND”, he said, go and bring “YOUR HUSBAND”
She told Jesus “truly I have a man who is filling the role of a husband right now, but really, he is not my husband
Lesson “you can have something and not own that thing”

The reason why you don’t own it is because it was never yours in the first place, it belongs to someone else, and if it belongs to someone else, it will never satisfy you, no matter how long you have it for

Woow!

Amazing, Jesus actually confirmed what she said

Can you imagine that: She has had five men in her life, these man has served different roles.

They served her emotional needs, some served her sexual needs, others sorted her financial needs, some were good companions, others enhanced her social status, she may even have a child or two with some of them, five of them in total and she has one presently at home, yet she has never has HER OWN HUSBAND

Imagine you are the man presently in her house, you think you have a wife, you pay her bills and even sleep with her, you parade her as your wife, and you may have even been with her for five years or ten, and you overheard her conversation with this Jewish prophet “I have no husband” :your wife says, and she is correct, what a tragedy!

YOU CAN BE MARRIED TO SOMEONE THAT IS NOT YOUR OWN

You can be dating someone that was never meant to be a part of your life
You can even fall in love with someone that is not supposed to be constructively a part of your destiny

You can permutate all manner of relationships, try to fit in people into your life, but if they are never meant to be yours, they will never fit in, they will never align, why? they were not designed to be yours and you were not designed to be theirs.

No wonder the woman was looking for “Living water” up and down, no wonder she was exchanging partners like sanitary pad, no wonder she was an unfulfilled woman, she was a disgruntled woman, she was a woman who hasn’t found her place. She hasn’t found her own place to be a woman.
we can argue this fact all we can, but the reality is this: there is a God ordained man or woman out there for you to marry at any specific point in time”, your discovery of that person is the foundation for a glorious relationship life and fulfilled destiny.

This revelation is new to me, but the lesson I had always known.

WHO ARE YOU WITH RIGHT NOW? Is she really yours? Is he really yours? You are constantly in a fight and disagreement; does that not tell you something? The fact that your plans and purpose never seem to align, does that not imply something somewhere is not right? She is spiritual, but is she yours? He is caring but is he yours? no matter how good someone is, if he is not yours, he will never be good enough for you.
Don’t look for a good wife or a good husband; look for your own husband, your own wife. Selah

Please share this with others
Yours In Love
Ayo Garuba (pst)

For counseling and feedbacks

Advertisements

WHY CONFLICTS IN RELATIONSHIPS

WHY CONFLICTS IN RELATIONSHIPS
Conflicts are signs of deep seated issues in a relationship, the more internal issues there are in a relationship, the more potential for external conflicts exist and if people do not understand how to recognize and resolved silent brewing issues in their relationships, it may blow up in their faces as a thriving conflict.
Prov 26:20-22
20 Where there is no wood, the fire goes out; And where there is no talebearer, strife ceases. 21 As charcoal is to burning coals, and wood to fire, So is a contentious man to kindle strife. NKJV

What many school of thought is teaching in our churches and popular books are conflict resolutions, what am advocating is conflict prevention. And this is very possible
.
Prov 17:14
The beginning of strife is like releasing water;
Therefore stop contention before a quarrel starts.
NKJV

The fact is that every conflict usually have a beginning, it is wisdom to identify such potential conflicts and nip them in the bud. when two people are in a conflict one or two of them are in foolishness. So we must choose the path of wisdom. There is nothing worthwhile to prove in a fight, if you don’t acquire wisdom to understand each other and the issue at hand, throw fist and shoot arrows of words all you can, it will only worsen problems , not resolve them.

TOP TEN REASONS WHY CONLFICTS HAPPEN IN A RELATIOSNHIP

1. WRONG PARTNERS
The greatest source of conflict in any relationship is that God is not the initiator of that relationship. Once the two of you enter by your own calculations, then you are in for possible contentions. If you didn’t hear from God in your relationship you will experience serious conflicts in your relationship. Since both of you will never be secured in that relationship. Its only when God is in the picture for the two of you that all goes well. There are issues that might want to occur if you choose by God’s direction, but it won’t overwhelm the two of you. Unlike if you choose naturally, you will get into all manner of conflicts over trivial matters. One serious sign you may not be meant for each other or that you choose the wrong person is that you are both always fighting. Think about it.

2. IMMATURITY
If you find yourself always throwing a tantrum at the slightest provocation in your relationship, it is obvious you are not matured or wise enough. Immature people are like children who are so selfish and self-centered, they want what they want and they want it their own way at the expense of the other person. You may be in the right relationship but be a wrong person because you are just simply too underdeveloped emotionally and intelligently to place your priorities right. Immature person is controlled by his or her emotions instead of him to control his emotions and address the issue at hand practically. The solution to immaturity is growth. You must study the word of God until you understand how to respond to every situation of life. Immaturity is simply lack of wisdom, so get wisdom

3. EXPECTING CONFLICTS
You must understand this one well, you don’t have to fight or raise your voice or get angry with your spouse to communicate with the person. With patience and prayer you can communicate important things to them and the holy spirit will help them to see it.

Prov 17:1-2
Better is a dry morsel with quietness,
Than a house full of feasting* with strife.
NKJV

If God expect us to be in strife he wouldn’t tell us to escape to the roof top than live with a contentious woman or man, the bible expects a quiet and conflict free home, not a war zone, so please ask for wisdom to have that kind of relationship and family. That anger can’t earn you anything good.

4. SELF CENTREDNESS
If it’s all about you and what you can get from the other person at any cost, the two of you will always be in a conflict. If you both prefer the other to yourself, there will never really be issues between the two of you. The bible is very clear on this matter.

Phil 2:3-4
3 Let nothing be done through selfish ambition or conceit, but in lowliness of mind let each esteem others better than himself. 4 Let each of you look out not only for his own interests, but also for the interests of others. NKJV

You simply have to put the other person first before you; relationship thrives of self-sacrifice not self-centeredness. If both of you look out for each other, you won’t have to worry about your personal needs being met, it will be met

TO BE CONTINUED
CONFESS THIS
O Lord, I choose a conflict free marriage in Jesus name

PRAY THIS
Lord, I declare peace into my relationship and my marriage in Jesus name.

DO THIS
Sit down and evaluate the real reasons why conflicts has existed in your relationship in the past and pray about them to make sure they don’t repeat itself again

STUDY THIS
Prov 21:16-22

Please share this with others
Yours In Love
Ayo Garuba (pst)

For counseling and feedbacks
Contact me

AYO GARUBA@ facebook
BB PIN: 2BC8AA56
PHONE NO: 081775547192

HOW TO KEEP CONFLICTS OUT OF YOUR RELATIONSHIP

HOW TO KEEP CONFLICTS OUT OF YOUR RELATIONSHIPS

There are already enough challenges in life for any two couples to now become a challenge to themselves; relationship should be a heaven where one is comforted from the challenges of life, not a hell where it increases.

1 Cor 12:12-13
12 For as the body is one and has many members, but all the members of that one body, being many, are one body, so also is Christ. NKJV

One of the major challenges of many of us singles is that we run relationship by other people’s experiences. We see our parents always in a fight and we believe it so normal and even expected, we see our friends in conflict almost all the times and we excuse it as a normal part of relationship.

I was talking to a friend some time ago who was trying to explain to me why his relationship is healthy, he said, “that they fight a lot in their relationship, and that any time they fight, they always settle it”: he was trying to let me know that the way he knows their relationship is healthy is the unending conflict that exist there.

In fact, there was a time when my sweet heart told someone that we rarely have arguments or active conflicts in our relationship and they were scared for her, they believed that it was pretense either on my part or on her part. What they did not realize was, we had made a very deliberate effort to ensure that ”potential conflicts do not become a fist fight or arguments”, we believe that every issue can be resolved with an expectation of peace. In fact most of the issues we had to resolve comes from outside the relationship not even within it, the only way this is possible is because ‘it takes two mature adults to run a conflict-free relationship”.

Bishop Oyedepo responded to a marriage counselor who was “cancelling” them, the man had told him and his spouse that there is no way they won’t step on each other’s toes in marriage”, then he answered him; ‘sir, if both of us are sitting in two different chairs, we will both have to be blind to step on each other’s toes’. In short he summarized, it takes two to fight, even if your spouse wants to bring up a conflict, wisdom demands that “ soft answer turneth away wrath”

Two people can’t air their opinion at the same time, so you must work towards peace at all times.

Many so called marriage counselors are actually :”cancel-lors”, who instead of instilling faith and confidence into couples for a successful marriage, scare them with the woes of their own personal marriage failures, so beware of them

Before we delve into “why conflicts happen” let me quickly address the issue of differences in nature and opinions of your mate further”

We have established: the differences in your relationship is not a curse, it’s a blessing, so stop letting the enemy deceive you

If you don’t want someone different from you then why don’t you marry yourself?
Let’s address how to eliminate conflict due to differences

1. we may disagree on an issue but we must look for a way to agree with each other. “things serve us we don’t serve things”, our relationship is more important than the issue at hand and our relationship must remain our priority. For example, no matter what issue we have with money, never compromise your relationship for disagreement over money, chose to agree with your spouse, sometimes you have to even let go of your personal preferences in this. This requires discipline and selfless ness

2. we are free to express differences in opinion and we must both understand that our differences are working together for our betterment so we must find a way to use your strength for the others weakness. Note that if both of you are the same in every way, then one of you is irrelevant in the relationship. SELAH.
So don’t marry him or her because you have a lot of things in common, marry him because God choose him for you

3. Differences doesn’t mean enmity, it means complementary. Differences thus is the reason why we are asked to work towards unity

4. Every issue in discuss has the best middle ground, look for it and both of you choose to compromise to stay there

5. it’s healthy to have a yardstick to judge every situation, so that both of you can be objective

RECOMMENEDED YARDSTICKS

a. it is not just about you it is about the two of you so you must always consider the other person as well as yourself or even more than yourself, the bible says ‘ we should prefer others to ourselves’ this is love.. if both of you consider the other better than yourselves, you will experience such joy and smoothness that you won’t believe it.

b. it is not just about the present moment, it is about the future, so make decisions that will be better in the long run for the two of you

c. many times, it is not about any of you, it’s about God’s will in that situation. So both of you must submit to what God is saying after you have prayed to know his will.

d. your relationship is always priority, any decision you want to make must better the relationship, not just you in person

e. if it is more important for the other person then you might have to let go. If the other person is happy then you will be happy in the long wrong

f. your decisions must serve the God given vision of your marriage or relationship, not just personal wants, if you don’t have a God given vision for your relationship then you will lack direction in making proper decisions.
We will continue tomorrow

CONFESS THIS
Lord I receive wisdom to maintain peace in all my relationships, especially with my spouse

PRAY THIS
Lord help me to prefer my spouse to myself and kill every selfishness in me in Jesus name

DO THIS
Do the above suggestions

STUDY THIS
I cor 12; 12-26

Please share this with others
Yours In Love
Ayo Garuba (pst)

For counseling and feedbacks
Contact me

AYO GARUBA@ facebook
BB PIN: 2BC8AA56
PHONE NO: 081775547192

HEART POINT 8

HEART POINT 8

10 relationship Quotes that would help your relationship life

Trusting your heart with someone who has not been tested and Delegated by God to you to do so is like giving your ATM card and its pass word to a total stranger. it’s just plainly unwise.

Anyone you bond with emotionally, that won’t abide with you spiritually, will soon slice you physically.

Are you going into that relationship to look for value or to add value, if you have no value to offer, you will end up making the other person to suffer,

if someone more than your spouse gives you more emotional pleasure than what your spouse is giving you, then you are committing emotional fornication or adultery.

the more time you spend together with someone, the more connection with them you will have

Communication, if absent, will kill any connection that exist between you and someone,

The greatest force in the world is the force of unity and the greatest unity in the world is intimacy

if you can marry you, then you won’t need a life partner (that is different from you)

The beauty of unity is in differences, you won’t need unity if you are not different.

Our differences should unite us by complementing us, not separate us.
You don’t compete with each other you complement each other

Pls share this with others

Yours In Love
Ayo Garuba (pst)

For counseling and feedbacks
Contact me

AYO GARUBA@ facebook
BB PIN: 2BC8AA56
PHONE NO: 081775547192

THE BEAUTY OF INTIMACY

THE BEAUTY OF INTIMACY
“The greatest force in the world is the force of unity and the greatest unity in the world is intimacy”.
Even God couldn’t stop this force until he interfered with their unity. If you want to be at your best in your relationship and destiny, then you must not joke with your intimacy. Spiritually, emotionally and (for married couples) physically

Gen11: 6 And the Lord said, “Indeed the people are one and they all have one language, and this is what they begin to do; now nothing that they propose to do will be withheld from them. NKJV

The beauty of intimacy is two different but whole hearts that comes together under the hospices of the Holy Spirit for the purpose of attaining a common divine vision. These requires an intermingling of two hearts and two lives for the purpose of becoming one in heart, emotion, intent, intellect , vision, value and purpose. They must begin to see alike, they must begin to even feel alike. This bond was explained in genesis when the bible says…….

GEN 2:24 “
For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and cleave (unite or join together) with his wife.

There is beauty in this union, so much that the bible says “how lovely is it for brethren to dwell together in unity”, it’s the most pleasurable event of any relationship and the most fruitful for two souls or two hearts to be bonded together by God in a marital relationship, this bonding begins in courtship and continues in marriage. And the bible says where two or more are gathered in my name, there I am in their midst. There is thus power in this bonding. So such that ‘one will chase a thousand, and two will chase ten thousand”
This force of unity is a propeller of destiny; it pulls in the force of favor into man and a woman’s lives. They just experience advancements in their lives. That is why the enemy hates to see this happen; he hates it when people are joined together in heart like that. That is why he is a master of disunity. He started in the garden and he is still doing it today through so many divorces and relationship break ups. That is why you must guard your heart and protect your relationship with all diligence, you must protect your relationship squarely and don’t allow emotional walls between the two of you, if you wall yourselves out, you will prevent the flow of God’s blessings into your lives,
The bible admonish husbands not to quarrel with their wives, so that their prayers will not go unanswered, this issue of emotional bonding is not just for the feeling of it, while it is a sweet experience, it is more that the sweetness of the emotions, it is about the sweetness of the fruit it produces in our lives.
Even biologically It is not possible to reproduce without unity of copulation, this is directly a coming together of two individuals who are opposite in sex, they are not even the same and they form a unity that bonds them together and produce a new life.
Many people permit disunity between them and their life partner because they claim they are different. So why don’t they go and marry themselves, if you can marry you, then you won’t need a life partner, so wake up. The beauty of unity is in differences, you won’t need unity if you are not different. You can be friends with people you are similar to, but mostly, God will bring into your lives people with a different personality from you to be a “help meet” to you.
You will notice you will be strong where she is weak, and she will be strong where he is weak, you don’t complain about these in others, you simply help them out, that’s why you are there in their lives in the first place-to be A HELPER
Your differences are to help each one of you, his strength for her weakness, her strength for his weakness. Our differences should unite us by complementing us, not separate us.

You don’t compete with each other you complement each other
While I say God brings people with different personalities, you both should be developing similar characters values, vision for life an all, we will treat this another time
CONFESS THIS
I receive the grace for unity of intimacy in my relationship in Jesus name

PRAY THIS
Lord release the power to see the way you see, and think the way you think about my life partner in Jesus name

DO THIS
Become conscious of the spiritual side of your emotional connection. Endeavor to be at peace always with yoru life partner and see God always win your battles for you

Please share this with others
Yours In Love
Ayo Garuba (pst)

For counseling and feedbacks
Contact me

AYO GARUBA@ facebook
BB PIN: 2BC8AA56
PHONE NO: 081775547192

KNOWING THE HEART OF Y OUR LIFE PARTNER part 2

HEARTSTREAMS daily devotionals (Singles and Married)

knowing%20heartKNOWING THE HEART OF YOUR LIFE PARTNER Part 2

But the LORD said to Samuel, “Do not consider his appearance or his height, for I have rejected him. The LORD does not look at the things people look at. People look at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart. I sam 16:7

We are still on our series of “how to choose your life partner”, we have dealt with the issue of choices and how to hear from God to choose the right person for you. Since yesterday we have been looking at how to understand the choice God gives you by the spirit or how to test that choice. What do I mean by “testing”. I believe that you do not enter onto a relationship and go to ‘see how it will go” like I said in previous devotionals “it will never go anywhere”. You don’t test your choice when you are deep in a relationship; you test your choice long before you start it. You first hear from God and then you prove what you have heard by getting confirmations from other sources and then by observing the person through friendship with them to know if this person satisfies the “heart parameters”. Remember, you are not comparing them with anyone, you are weighing them against the standard of the scriptures.

The first one we mentioned in the heart parameters is ‘the person’s heart for God”, so the question you want to ask here is “does this person have a heart for God?” since God cannot lead you to someone whose heart is not with him, if the person has not given his or her life to Christ then, you probably didn’t hear from God. the second of the “heart parameter” we mentioned was ”the person’s “quality of heart” within them”, the question here is “does this person’s quality of heart complements mine?”. You want to know here if there nature, personality and temperament can unite with yours. You want to know if both of you fit like lock and key. There are some of these things that you can only understand when you are in close friendship with this person or when you have begun a relationship with the one. Gather some knowledge at least before entering. That you cannot know everything about someone doesn’t mean you should start the relationship with an empty brain. Notice that I haven’t mentioned anything physical or social parameters, that is because those ones are variable and can distract from the real things which is in the heart. Once you know the heart of the person, other things will easily fall in place. Today we treat two more “heart parameters”

 

HEART TO HEART

While their ‘quality of heart” talks about how different both of you are in your personality yet complementary, the “heart to heart” talks about what similarities both of you must have for God to choose the two of you to be together. If you do not have any thing in common, you will most likely not be able to start, nor maintain a viable relationship. These common grounds will glue you together as friends, while the differences you both have will enable you to help each other’s weaknesses. but there are so many things that both of you must have the same heart about, you must be heart to heart in these things.

You want to know if both of you share a similar faith. We mentioned earlier That the person cannot be a free thinker or a Muslim and then you that have a Christian faith will go and marry that kind of person because you “feel” maybe God is leading you to marry the person. If you choose anyone outside your faith, you stand the chance of losing your faith to that marriage. if your faith is important to you, you won’t trade it on marital grounds since “the just shall live by his faith”

Do you two both share similar interest and passions? it is okay for both of you to be different in that “one person like football and the other like watching movies”, but if there is nothing that you share as common interest and passion together, you both will not last in that marriage. since you can only survive on the “friendship factor” in your marriage, if the friendship factor is absent, then you will both be having conflicts, so if you realize that nothing the person does interests you or you are trying hard to adjust or to imagine how to even live with the person, please check it very well and know if God has really spoken to you

Also ask yourself “do we both have a similar values and beliefs about life?” Is what is important to me important to her, or we both have opposite irreconcilable values. God will not match two people with deferring values. There is room for differences, but irreconcilable differences are strong signals that call for re-evaluation. Remember it is crucial you try and gather these facts at the friendship level and know the person’s heart very well. You see how that “attraction” alone cannot do any of these, what attraction can only do is give you the passion to pursue and gather facts and figures about the person,

HEART FOR OTHERS

The next thing you want to find out is their heart for other people, basically ‘what is their character towards people in their lives?” are they rude and disrespectful to people but will be nice and cool when they are with you, watch it , they are pretending . Is the person generally a proud person? Ask these questions what comes at you when you see that person, how will you describe her. I am not talking about what she portrays to people, but how she relates under pressure, how he relates in tense situations, how or she behaves when nobody is watching. In this day and age of social media, go and find out their attitude on the social networks. Check their facebook wall, check their past posts, check their regular DPs, how do they chat with you in the privacy of their phones, are they vulgar and even rude, check everything you can find about them. If you find irreconcilable character flaws in them, then ask God again. I am not saying they must be perfect, I am saying they must be perfect for you. I am saying that even if they have flaws in character, those flaws must be something that you don’t mind living with for the rest of your life, do not go into the relationship thinking you can change them, except you have a special anointing for changing the heart of people (which is possible if you know how), but if you don’t, please do not chew more than what you can bite. Most likely everyone will have certain character flaws that they will be dealing with, but you must be able to cope with the most extreme form of it in them before you can conclude that truly, they are your life partners. if you keep having doubts about their character, it is probably a stoing signal that you need to go and pray again.

watch out for strong anger, extreme pride, vengeful spirit, unfaithfulness and disloyalty, unkindness and cruelty. Immoral and lustful behaviours etc

we will touch the last two heart parameters tomorrow. Remain blessed.

 

TO BE CONTINUED

 

CONFESS THIS

My heart is right with God and renewed everyday in Jesus name

PRAY THIS

Lord, I pray for my future spouse, keep his or her heart and make him or her ready for the great future that you have for the two of us in Jesus name.

DO THIS

Work on your won heart as well.

STUDY THIS

1 sam 16

Yours in LOVE

PST AYO GARUBA

 

For counseling, feedbacks and preaching engagements Contact me

 

AYO GARUBA@ facebook

TWITTER@ayo2gee

BB PIN : 28490864

or BB PIN; 282BF5E4

PHONE NO:+234 (0) 8177554719

 

 

 

 

KNOWING THE HEART OF YOUR LIFE PARTNER

HEARTSTREAMS daily devotionals (Singles and Married)face%20in%20water

KNOWING THE HEART OF YOUR LIFE PARTNER

Prov 27:19

19 As in water the face is reflected as a face, so a person’s heart reflects the person.

Charles was back at the relationship program, he had anticipated it throughout that day, he left his work quite early and ensured he got a seat at the front this time, in no time the hall was filled up and he thanked his God that he had come early. The speaker came in and projected on the screen the picture of a heart.

“I am going to describe the way to understand the will of God or test the will of God as HEART. the heart of a man is really that man, when you want to marry someone, what you are getting married to is not their body, it is not their possession, it is their heart that you are connecting with, so you want to have a glimpse into their heart before you share that heart with them for the rest of their lives.

HEART FOR GOD

The first thing you want to know is their heart for God. Has this person given his or her heart to Christ, or the heart is with the devil. God will never give you someone whose heart is not with him. He will give only into your care only what has been placed in his care. That means the person must be genuinely born again for God to speak t him about him or her. If the person is not born again, check it is not God to spoke to you. You cannot force people t give their heart to Christ so that you can marry them, you are on a mountain moving mission, and except your faith can move mountain, don’t venture into it. Moreover God match make you with an unbeliever.

You also want to know if the person has an in going heart to heart connection with the God and he is constantly growing in love with him. If the person doesn’t Love God and is not in a thriving relationship with God, the person cannot Love you and cannot be in a thriving relationship with you. so don’t get carried away by superficial things, you know someone’s heart for God by the way they respond to the things of God, by the way they talk about the things of God and what they say about God. “since out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks”

What does the person spend his time on, what is the first thing in the person’s, if it is not God then watch it. “Where your treasure is there will your heart be also”, if the person treasures God, the person’s heart will be spent on God”. if the person’s treasure is not God and his things, the person can never treasure you for the rest of your life, so be careful.

The person must also have a sensitive heart to know what God is saying, a humble heart to obey God and serve his people, the person’s heart For God is even more crucial than their heart for you. Once they have faith in God and a deep love for him you will have a stable relationship

This will help you to understand God’s choice for you, and help in how you relate with the person inside the relationship.

THE QUALITY OF HEART IN THEM

What I mean by ‘the quality of heart in them’ is their “Nature and temperaments”. people’s nature is what you will live with for the rest of their lives, they can rarely change this aspect of them. so you have to make sure that nature sooths your own nature. God will never give you some one whose quality of heart will not match yours. God has designed relationships to bring two people with almost different natures to achieve a common goal. Even the gender difference says it all, it is not normal for male and male to be married, one of them is unnecessary in that kind of union. It takes opposite of the same specie to attract and reproduce life. While you must have something in common, your nature will rarely be similar if you allow God to choose for you.

More often than not, tough hearted people are connected with soft hearted people to create balance in their lives; people with a quiet heart may have a loud person as a complement. The heart is where people’s personality is, so you want to know if their personality is complementary with yours. Many people keep having conflicts in their relationship because they choose someone whose heart doesn’t fit theirs. They choose not based on the quality of heart, but based on the quality of face.” God doesn’t look at the appearances (face), he looks at the heart”, if I were you, I will be like God and look at the heart too. The face can distract you form the heart, so watch it. So, if you are looking at faces, you may soon be defaced in a relationship.

God doesn’t necessarily choose someone with the exact same texture of heart with you. that you are a thinker doesn’t mean your wife is be a brainy and will be a thinker like you, she may be an emotional and more subjective person, you will notice she will create balance in your life. There will be times when you logic might put you into trouble it is the feelings of your wife that will recue you. Your own husband may be rough in his approach to things while you are very refined and organized in your thoughts, that is not a reason to complain, it is a reason to complement or to help him. It is possible for you to never have any serious conflict with someone whose quality of heart locks easily with yours. Even though both of you are different in personality from each other, you will still not have issues, because your hearts were made to help and sooth each other. Many choose people like them thinking that is the smart thing to do, but in their ignorance they make blunders. But when you allow God to choose for you, you will discover this is how God chooses for people, he connects people whose heart will match and fit each other lile lack and key. Even though lock and key do not have the same shape, but you never see them shout in each other, they quietly help each other and every door opens to lock and key

Charles couldn’t take his eyes off the man, his mind was working at the speed of light as he spoke, he was learning more than ever before. he was even more sure that he can never miss it when it comes to this marriage thing, the man continued, but we will continue tomorrow.

TO BE CONTINUED

 

CONFESS THIS

My heart is refined and my heart is renewed in Christ Jesus

PRAY THIS

Lord, Give me the sensitivity to the heart of people and especially the heart of my spouse in Jesus name

DO THIS

Check your own heart and take an inventory of it

STUDY THIS

 

Yours in LOVE

PST AYO GARUBA

 

For counseling, feedbacks and preaching engagements Contact me

 

AYO GARUBA@ facebook

TWITTER@ayo2gee

BB PIN : 28490864

or BB PIN; 282BF5E4

PHONE NO:+234 (0) 8177554719

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

CHOOSING LIFE PARTNER Part 2 “THE FIVE WITNESSES”

HEARTSTREAMS daily devotionals (Singles and Married)

witnesses

CHOOSING YOUR LIFE PARTNER Part 2

“THE FIVE WITNESSES”

Charles was totally confused, he had tried avoiding this sensitive topic for over two decades of his life but right now, there is no escaping it. What he has feared has finally come upon him. the emotions running through his weak frame is proving too stubborn, his eyes seem not to be as disciplined as before, he has prayed and prayed to God to take this feeling away from him but it seem like the creator deem it fit to even intensify the feeling in him. The daughters of Eve are taking a better part of his heart, he trembles ‘feelings are not your enemy, they are your friends, you only need to understand them”, he had sensed his creator whispering to him. He almost threw a punch at him who sits and ruled from his throne, the one who lives within his heart. “it’s easy for you to say, father God, you are up there immune against all the frailties of human flesh, but over here, I have to face them”. father smiled “I am touched by the feeling of your weaknesses too, remember, I came to the earth through my son and I was tempted by everything, even this things” His mind swims looking for answers, but he knows he either gets this answers or he may do something crazy really pretty soon, but he also knows the answer has to come not from his misguided friends, not from his confused society, not from his upbringing, but from his creator, through his voice and through his word. Then he heard it, God’s spirit spoke to his heart “five witnesses”, he looked around him. What is God telling him again this time now “what are five witnesses?”, then he remembered the scriptures “2 Corinthians 13 verse 1 ‘By the mouth of two or three witnesses every word shall be established’.”Uhmmm! So, God you want to give me more than three witnesses, you want to give me five? God replied him, “yes five! to teach you how to do this”

Charles had been confused about how to choose his life partner, everyone seem to be saying different things, even from the pulpit nowadays, the preachers are divergent in their opinion. he heard one said, “God doesn’t choose for anyone again, since he choose for Adam and Adam blamed him in genesis ‘the woman you gave me, gave me the fruit and I ate’, he alleged that since that day, God doesn’t choose for man again’, he seem pretty confused, some said, ‘as long as anyone you choose is born again, you can fall in love and marry him,’ but the statistics aren’t encouraging, then the school of thought that says God has to choose for you, well, not like he doesn’t like that but it seem like God isn’t so much in a hurry like most people and then most people can’t even hear God speak, so he really needs to know the truth, and now God just spoke to him, he will give him five witnesses from the scriptures to show him one thing “I still choose for my children”

The first witness God gave Charles began this way

“SCRIPTURAL EXAMPLE”

“How the patriarch of faith, Abraham, choose for his promised son Isaac

Gen 24:42-45 “When I came to the spring today, I said, ‘O Lord, God of my master Abraham, if you will, please grant success to the journey on which I have come. 43 See, I am standing beside this spring; if a maiden comes out to draw water and I say to her, “Please let me drink a little water from your jar,” 44 and if she says to me, “Drink, and I’ll draw water for your camels too,” let her be the one the Lord has chosen for my master’s son.’ 45 “Before I finished praying in my heart, Rebekah came out, with her jar on her shoulder. She went down to the spring and drew water, and I said to her, ‘Please give me a drink.’ NIV

“If I do not choose for people any more, especially since that of Adam’s, how come when Abraham’s servant prayed to me, I brought the wife of his master’s son Isaac to him’

This witness is the called “the example of the scripture”

Charles studied it carefully, ‘but lord, there was no other person that choose that way’,

The father replied “most of my children in my word, never really understood my will when it comes to choosing a life partner, I had mercy on most of them, and those who got it right aren’t clearly stated, but you under the new covenant, you mustn’t be like those of old, the scriptures are written as examples to you, whom the end of this age has come to. you can’t afford to repeat their mistakes” Charles saw it, he studied the chapter carefully meditating on it “ Abraham obviously choose from the family of faith, not from a strange family, Abraham knew that God has the final say on his son’s marital issue, not even him or his son.. Abraham has learnt to trust God so much he could allow anyone who is led by the spirit to go and choose for his son,.

Uhmm, thank you lord for that, I will keep that in mind

THE SECOND WITNESS

“THE GENERAL WAY OF DIVINE LEADING”

Charles knew that the word has the final say on everything, so he wasn’t surprised when another scripture came to his mind, he automatically knew God was speaking to him about the next witness “I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go; I will guide you with My eye.” he knows that scripture, it is in Psalm 32 verses 8. He opened it and as he looked at it God spoke to him again.

“I generally lead my sons in all they do, remember ‘as many as are led by my spirit , they are my sons”(Romans 8’14) I lead them on where to live, where to work, where to worship, how to succeed, so why shouldn’t I lead them on whom and how to marry.

‘but God, they said you gave us “free will” to choose our life partner’.

I gave you free will to choose to follow me Charles, not just to do whatever you want. Free will is not A license for recklessness, but an opportunity for submission. You can’t truly say you are my son Charles if you do not allow me to lead you in every area of your life and especially to bring you the life partner that I have prepared for you”

Charles knew this is the truth, his written words confirms it “I choose for Isaac, I choose for Adam, I will choose for you, that is why I desire every of my children to master how to be led by my spirit before their passions mislead them into the wrong direction.

Charles wrote down all he was learning, he knew these things were profound, but there are still three more witnesses, he wondered what more God will reveal to him, his feeling were easing bit by bit and his questions were reducing but there is still so much to learn, so much to know, on this issue of ‘choosing your life partner” and he was ready for them.

TO BE CONTINUED

 

CONFESS THIS

Lord I trust my life into your hands to navigate me through every phase of it, I will not take matters into my own hands, I will not be led by my whims or compromise on your will. I submit my heart to you even in my relationship life

PRAY THIS

I pull down every lie that has been sold to me negating your will for my marital destiny in Jesus name.

DO THIS

Study these two examples from the scriptures and resolve this issue once and for all

STUDY THIS

GEN 24:1-66

Yours in LOVE

PST AYO GARUBA

 

For counseling, feedbacks and preaching engagements Contact me

 

AYO GARUBA@ facebook

TWITTER@ayo2gee

BB PIN : 28490864

or BB PIN; 282BF5E4

PHONE NO:+234 (0) 8177554719

 

 

 

 

 

CHOOSING YOUR LIFE PARTNER Part 1 “THE SPECTACLE”

HEARTSTREAMS daily devotionals (singles and married)

life%20partner

CHOOSING YOUR LIFE PARTNER PART 1

“THE SPECTACLE”

PROV 19:14-15

Houses and riches are an inheritance from fathers, but a prudent wife is from the Lord.

NKJV

 

Adam must have thought he had everything he needed , as a matter of fact, until this day he felt totally complete, no voids, no feelings of loneliness, no craving for someone, he just seem perfect, perfect…until the aching began, something has changed inside him, he could feel it, he had slept one night and woke up the next morning feeling almost lifeless, like a surgery had been done on him, together with the sense of overwhelming weariness came an ache he has never known before, almost like a rib was missing beside him, he knew he needed something or is it someone, but he can’t really place his hands on it, he had had some good times in the garden, times spent with his great father enjoying his glorious works in the garden, he enjoyed worshipping him, times with the creatures that kept him company, times to enjoy the sights and fruits of the delightful garden. The other day he finished the herculean task of naming all the animals in the garden, he had wanted to throw a party, he had wanted to celebrate, but noticed there was no one to celebrate with, there was especially no one like him. He speaks to his father about everything from how his day went to his next day’s project, but there were things he couldn’t just tell him, he would need maybe…Someone else to confide in.

He noticed how all the animals in the garden were all in twos but couldn’t really explained why he was, well…Alone. But today is different, He felt something had happened to him and whatever it is, he must talk to his God-father about it. Then he heard the voice of his father walking in the garden in the cool of the day as usual. This time, he has a lot on his mind to discuss with him; he approached his father but stopped on his track when he saw the most spectacular sight of his life there beside him. She was angelic and godlike at the same time, something inside Adam was moved so deeply, emotions flooded him, his heart races within his rib cage in passionate anticipation. Feeling he had never felt before surged within him. Something tells him his life will never remain the same again. God himself was a divine spectacular sight to behold, but seeing this beautifully creature and human spectacle, he was wowed, she looks exactly like him and in a way more…well, more everything than him. He just couldn’t take his eyes off her, then it came to him, “woo…man, she is like me, she is a another form of me, a ‘wombed’ me”. He knew things about her that he normally shouldn’t.

God, the father, was observing Adam as he admired the woman he carved out from his side, he delighted in his delight, he had taken his time over night, put him into a very deep sleep and made a beautiful delightful female creature out of the rib from his side. From his side…because God knew the woman will be closest to his heart (after him) , just like the rib is close to his natural heart, he knew also that he would cherish her keeping her in the embrace of his arm just like the rib is almost always cherished by the arm, she was taken from his bone, making her a bone of his bone, she will connect deep with him and be one with him, he knew she will meet a deep need for intimacy in him, both will be a delight to each other. Father God knew he has created a master piece when he made the woman, but he also know they were going to be at their best only when united with each other, fulfilling the purpose for which he created them-to have dominion. They were going to be made one person out of two individuals, two becoming one. That moment was reverting for the three of them. That is the way the father wanted it, the relationship will not just be about the two of them, he must be involved. he knew that a good father doesn’t’ just give house and riches to his son, a good father would find a good wife to his son, he was going to show us through how Abraham found wife for his son Isaac, that ‘a good wife is from the Lord”, it wasn’t a mistake that God himself brought Eve to Adam, it wasn’t Adam’s job to search for a wife, it was his job to receive a wife from his father. That moment in time was life changing both for Adam and eve.

CHOOSING A LIFE PARTNER

If marriage must be a sweet journey for every one of us then making the right choice cannot be taken with levity. from the first man that was introduced to the marriage institution by God to our time, God has made each one of us with a desire to bond with someone of the opposite sex, we desire intimacy and we want to be loved and accepted by this one person, but how do we make the righ choice, can we just choose by ourselves or there is a very thorough involvement of God in our marital choices, what wisdom can we glean form the word of God that will help us to prevent the trap many fall into in venturing into the wrong partnership. we start a series today “CHOOSING YOUR LIFE PARTNER”, after this series your journey to making the right choice becomes paved with ease. God bless you.

CONFESS THIS

My life fulfills purpose, my life is giving glory to God, my marital destiny enjoys favour upon it in Jesus name. I will not miss my path, I will get it right in Jesus name.

PRAY THIS

I receive wisdom to make the right choices in every area of my life, in my business, in my career, in my relationships, and in my life in general. I am equipped by the spirit of God for right choices in Jesus name.

DO THIS

Study the word of God for yourself and find out what God is saying about how to choose your life partner.

STUDY THIS

Gen 2; 18-25

 

Yours in LOVE

PST AYO GARUBA

 

For counseling, feedbacks and preaching engagements Contact me

 

AYO GARUBA@ facebook

TWITTER@ayo2gee

BB PIN : 28490864

BB PIN; 282BF5E4

PHONE NO:+234 (0) 8177554719

 

 

EMOTIONAL LEADING (HEARING FROM GOD PART 3)

HEARTSTREAMS daily devotionals (Singles and married)

Fresh%20air

HEARING FROM GOD FOR YOUR RELATIONSHIP PART 3

“EMOTIONAL LEADING’

Ps 37:4-6

4 Delight yourself also in the Lord, And He shall give you the desires of your heart. 5 Commit your way to the Lord, Trust also in Him, And He shall bring it to pass. NKJV

One of the greatest hindrances to knowing what God is saying about our relationship life is our emotions. Emotions are so powerful that they can mislead us to believe “maybe its God speaking to us”, the problem here is that although God can speak to us through our emotions, most of us have not trained our emotions to respond ‘only’ to what God is saying. Many of us have unrefined and ‘confused’ emotions.

for example if you are given to Anger easily, you cannot trust that that is God speaking to you, if you are easily provoked into Envy then you should know that that is not from the spirit of God, that is from your flesh. If Lust courses through your emotions easily, you know your heart is not refined enough, so you can then imagine when you begin to feel some certain emotions towards someone. It will be totally unsafe to then conclude it must be God or that “if I feel it then it must be right”. so many has been misled this way.

The bible says to “delight yourself in the lord, then he will give you the desires of your heart” Psm 37:4, meaning until your heart is totally refined and synchronized with God’s emotions (through delighting in him), you cannot trust that your heart. This is because, every emotion is an offshoot of hidden thoughts and beliefs from the past, emotions are a present response to thoughts we have allowed in the past.

Although there some people whose feelings are reliable for God’s leading because of their spiritual training and maturity, for example, I don’t easily feel anger but if you come close to me and I feel a sudden anger surge within me, I will automatically know that something is wrong with you somewhere. Most often I do not know the reason why I have such spontaneous anger, but I will keep searching and investigating my spirit until my natural mind can tell what God is trying to tell me. Such anger cannot get me out of control, it originates from my spirit, and once it serves its purpose, it automatically subsides. I have learnt it is a way of God communicating how he feels about someone or something to me.

I didn’t always know this, it use to bother me in the past when I feel a sudden emotion, I would think it is a mood swing, which I don’t usually have, but after I began seeing the spiritual pattern I mastered this method of hearing God speak through my emotions.

There is a certain phenomenon that has gotten many into the wrong relationship, some people think any time they feel ‘Love’ for someone they should be in a relationship with that person. It use to confuse me too until I learnt otherwise. There are times when I just feel a certain Sudden Love for someone of the female gender. in the past, it use to bother me but I learnt something one day that sudden surge of love is not an automatic call into a romantic relationship with someone, it may be God calling me to use my spiritual gift to be a blessing to that person’, so there was day I was walking with someone and I saw a lady whom I felt a ‘sudden love’ for, so with that understanding I took an excuse from the person I was walking with and I went straight to her and I opened my mouth to give a word of knowledge, told her what God is saying to her, something I never premeditated, she was surprised, the guy walking with the lady thanked me and said he was just telling her the same thing before I confirmed it for them. I never saw that lady again. Some people would have gone to collect her number and be disturbing the young lady for a relationship.

That is God leading me through my heart. It would have been foolish of me to think that she is supposed to be my wife or something because I felt a “Love” for her. Many people perish for lack of knowledge”. some people have turned their vision partners to their life partners this way, while some people turn to ‘a help meet’ someone they are suppose to simply help and let her go her way. Not every emotion indicates a direction to marriage, so understand it.

I also experienced the positive side of this when I wanted to choose my wife, I would just have the feeling of ‘my wife being around’ whenever this lady comes close to me then s a single. I will look at her and wonder why I always get this feeling when I see her. I had known her for a couple of years and I never felt this way during those times but there was a time it just started and the more I pray it away, the more intense it becomes, so I decided I wasn’t going to be seeing her again although that didn’t help. It took over a year of testing and proving this feeling, yet I didn’t want to trust it because I felt maybe it was just my emotions. Then other forms of divine leadings came into play, it was obvious this is not just my emotions, God is actually saying something, I began seeing visions (not dreams), that confirms my suspicion. I got specific insights into who the person is without any one telling me , in fact after a while a prophet walked up to me and told me, ‘God has been talking to you about your wife but you are ignoring her’, I told him I have been feeling it but I wasn’t sure’, I will give you details about this later, but the point here is ‘our emotions if refined can really help us to know what God is saying’, but am afraid so many of us have not refined our hearts to that degree.

You will know you cannot trust your own emotions if you are have feelings for more than one person at a time. That can’t be God speaking to you; it’s your carnal emotions. You will know it is not God if you just got out of a relationship which you were sure it was God and now you are feeling for someone just a couple of weeks down the lane. That is not God leading, that is a rebound. You know you cannot trust your emotions if jealousy and bitterness keeps surging within your heart, until you keep your heart pure, you can’t trust those emotions.

Even when you feel things by the spirit you still have to prove them over and over again through other methods of divine guidance, you must test the feeling until you are over certain what God is saying and what God is not saying.

TO BE CONTINUED

CONFESS THIS

My heart is refined and purified in Jesus name. my emotions are godly and my thoughts are right in Jesus name

PRAY THIS

Lord, purge my heart of every wrong emotion. Guide my heart into all truth in all circumstances in Jesus name

DO THIS

Watch every emotion that you feel from now on, disallow the wrong once and purify your heart by thinking on the word of God and worship in his presence

STUDY THIS

Psm 37:1-40

Yours in LOVE

PST AYO GARUBA

For counseling, feedbacks and preaching engagements Contact me

AYO GARUBA@ facebook

TWITTER@ayo2gee

BB PIN: 28490864

PHONE NO:+234 (0) 8177554719