It’s possible to have something that you don’t own, and if you don’t own it, it will never satisfy you or give you joy

John 4:16-18
16 Jesus said to her, “Go, call your husband, and come here.” 17 The woman answered and said, “I have no husband.” Jesus said to her, “You have well said, ‘I have no husband,’ 18 for you have had five husbands, and the one whom you now have is not your husband; in that you spoke truly.”NKJV

We met this Samaritan woman at a peculiar point in time where she came to satisfy her thirst with so called “living water”, it is interesting to note that the well is not just an ordinary well, it was the well of Jacob and both the Jews and the Samaritans (who are like mixed breed Jews) come there to take this ‘living water”.
In a short form, this water was supposed to improve their life or give them some certain type of satisfaction in a sort of super natural way, at least so it seems “because Jesus then said to her in John 4:13-15 Jesus answered,

“Everyone who drinks this water will be thirsty again, 14 but whoever drinks the water I give him will never thirst. Indeed, the water I give him will become in him a spring of water welling up to eternal life. “NIV

It thus appears that the aim of people drinking the water was more than quenching their natural thirst , it was to quench their soul thirst, to quench their emotional thirst permanently, they were looking for a kind of fulfillment and satisfaction but it seems, as far as we know it , at least with this woman, that satisfaction eludes her, she keeps coming over and over again , which was the reason why she wanted the ‘Living water” in the first place, so that she won’t have to come back again, but so far so good, she has torn because she was still unfulfilled.

So Jesus offered to give what she has always wanted or needed
But first Jesus asked her for a drink, she went berserk, why?
“You can’t give what you don’t have”,
Can you compare her with Rebekah in the Old Testament, whom a stranger asked to give her water, she didn’t just give the man water, and she watered all his camel! Wow! Talk about overflowing satisfaction in a woman’s soul! But this Samaritan woman was different, she was so thirsty she makes other people miserable with her thirst.

So Jesus decided since she doesn’t have what she is looking for, he will help her, but not without connecting it with her most pressing need…a husband.
She has to come with HER HUSBAND to get the living river…this was where I got the shock of my life.

Jesus told the woman to go and bring her husband meaning she has a husband
Then the woman claimed she doesn’t have a husband and Jesus said she is correct


Jesus then dropped the bomb shell,
You have a husband, in fact you have had husbands, but you have never had YOUR HUSBAND.

Then I noted what Jesus asked her to bring, not go and bring “A HUSBAND”, he said, go and bring “YOUR HUSBAND”
She told Jesus “truly I have a man who is filling the role of a husband right now, but really, he is not my husband
Lesson “you can have something and not own that thing”

The reason why you don’t own it is because it was never yours in the first place, it belongs to someone else, and if it belongs to someone else, it will never satisfy you, no matter how long you have it for


Amazing, Jesus actually confirmed what she said

Can you imagine that: She has had five men in her life, these man has served different roles.

They served her emotional needs, some served her sexual needs, others sorted her financial needs, some were good companions, others enhanced her social status, she may even have a child or two with some of them, five of them in total and she has one presently at home, yet she has never has HER OWN HUSBAND

Imagine you are the man presently in her house, you think you have a wife, you pay her bills and even sleep with her, you parade her as your wife, and you may have even been with her for five years or ten, and you overheard her conversation with this Jewish prophet “I have no husband” :your wife says, and she is correct, what a tragedy!


You can be dating someone that was never meant to be a part of your life
You can even fall in love with someone that is not supposed to be constructively a part of your destiny

You can permutate all manner of relationships, try to fit in people into your life, but if they are never meant to be yours, they will never fit in, they will never align, why? they were not designed to be yours and you were not designed to be theirs.

No wonder the woman was looking for “Living water” up and down, no wonder she was exchanging partners like sanitary pad, no wonder she was an unfulfilled woman, she was a disgruntled woman, she was a woman who hasn’t found her place. She hasn’t found her own place to be a woman.
we can argue this fact all we can, but the reality is this: there is a God ordained man or woman out there for you to marry at any specific point in time”, your discovery of that person is the foundation for a glorious relationship life and fulfilled destiny.

This revelation is new to me, but the lesson I had always known.

WHO ARE YOU WITH RIGHT NOW? Is she really yours? Is he really yours? You are constantly in a fight and disagreement; does that not tell you something? The fact that your plans and purpose never seem to align, does that not imply something somewhere is not right? She is spiritual, but is she yours? He is caring but is he yours? no matter how good someone is, if he is not yours, he will never be good enough for you.
Don’t look for a good wife or a good husband; look for your own husband, your own wife. Selah

Please share this with others
Yours In Love
Ayo Garuba (pst)

For counseling and feedbacks


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