Monthly Archives: April 2014




There are many people whose fears have prevented them from hoping for the best in their future, their reasoning is like this: Why do good people fall into bad relationships, and why do some bad people get into good hands? The truth is life is complex and doesn’t always follow the obvious rule of life that we know, but you must understand that every effect you see in life, has a root cause somewhere. you cannot not just fall into a good hands or get into a bad hands by co-incidence, there is something you must do right to get into good hands, and they are things you must do wrong to great into bad hands.

Ezek 18:21-23

21 “But if a wicked man turns from all his sins which he has committed, keeps all My statutes, and does what is lawful and right, he shall surely live; he shall not die. 22 None of the transgressions which he has committed shall be remembered against him; because of the righteousness which he has done, he shall live. NKJV

there are a lot of reasons why seemingly good people get bad spouses, but the first thing I will like to call your attention to is that ‘you may look good but are you really good?’ the truth is the goodness we are talking about that attracts favour has little to do with just being nice and kind on the outside to people around you, being good has everything to do with having God in your life and your attitude towards him. It is possible to appear like you are decent and all, but have a very stubborn heart that is rebellious, “Man looks at the appearances while God looks at the heart”, while we cannot relegate Christianity to just “my Christianity it is in my heart and only God knows those who are serving him” we must actually understand, that ‘Christianity begins from the heart and long before people can see the humility and sincerity of people, God already foresee it and he is already rewarding them.

“Esau I hate, but Jacob I love” was based on this premise where God saw their heart and responded to who they were on the inside. Even though Esau looked more responsible, unlike his brother Jacob who seem to sit and loaf around at home; God already saw their hearts and knew that, Jacob had a sincere and humble heart that seeks after God. UNLIKE Esau who was religious but was ‘profane’ in his heart. Your goodness has nothing to do with just your outward behavior it has everything to do with receiving God’s goodness into your life and taking him seriously. If you make God your priority and his will for your life in marriage, you will have favour that other men never think you deserve.

So being good is about being a man after God’s own heart. David was as bad as bad could get but experienced favour in marriage.

We see this type of incidence of people we consider ‘bad’ where some of them seem to end up in the right marriages. The first thing I like to say here is “how do you measure good marriage?”, that the person married a beautiful wife doesn’t mean they are in a beautiful marriage. That the bad girl married a handsomely rich husband doesn’t mean that they are in a handsome marriage. You do not know there hidden issues, if she is truly bad and he is truly wicked, then you do not expect good things to come out of their union but then it takes us to the definition of ‘bad’. Like I said earlier; a man and woman without Christ is poor in life, good behavior is not enough, Christ in you is what makes you good. So even if this person has done a lot of bad things in the past and she gave her life to Christ and she gets serious with God in her heart (key word here is ‘get serious’ ) , and she begins to thread the path of God’s grace. The mercy of God will review her past and if she obeys what God tells her about her marital future, he or she will end up in a great marriage. The most important factor that determines marital destiny is following God’s instruction into marriage and not your own mind, this is the mother of all marital favors.

Another thing you must note here is that there are times when God breaks some rules because of things we do not know. Destiny may require that God intervene in some people’s marriages because of the future he has envisioned for them I know of some very great ministers of God who married right but were not born again when they married, that was the sovereign mercy of God at work in their lives. God’s intervention is very powerful, this should bring hope to our hearts. We do not always reap what we sow, but if you refuse to sow, you may not reap anything. If after you have heard the truth you still continue in your ‘bad’ ways, we cannot claim ignorance any more, God may have to teach you a couple of lessons by allowing you to taste the bitter fruit of what you are sowing. That is why you don’t judge yourself by your past, you judge yourself by your present decision and response to what God is saying to you now. It doesn’t matter what you have done in the past if you just make a decision to follow God from now on and do things right, you will have a new beginning. It is wisdom that separates good people from bad people. Abigail was a good woman who ended up with a bad man but God eventually rearranged her path legally to marry the right man for her, (now this is not implying we should start praying for God to kill the bad spouse that we have, Abigail never did that.) but if you stay faithful to God and to your spouse, He will recompense you and make your marriage to work.

having a good outward appearance and behavior is therefore not enough, you must be wise. I am not talking about worldly smartness, who pretends they are good and they go to church to pick the seeming virgin whose voice sounds like a nightingale from the pulpit, only for them to marry and realize the girl is a ‘night witch’ who screeches at night, what am talking about is the wisdom mentioned in James 3:17-18 But the wisdom that is from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, willing to yield, full of mercy and good fruits, without partiality and without hypocrisy. 18 Now the fruit of righteousness is sown in peace by those who make peace. NKJV A good person is thus a man of God’s wisdom, a man or woman who loves God and follows God, a good person who will obtain favour is a person who has made peace with God and is humble enough to be foolish to do whatever he says, he is not hypocritical, so it’s not just about her dressing and her outlook, it has everything to do with her devotional relationship with God. if a person’s heart is totally sold out to God, that person cannot make marital mistakes. but if we go to church and are rebellious, we end up lacking favor upon our lives. So why do bad people get good spouse, because they became repentant enough to submit their lives to God and do his will for their lives. it is better to be ‘bad’ trying to follow God than to be good doing your own thing, so follow God and a great life will follow you. Remain blessed.


I am submissive to your plan and purpose for my life and I do not do my own thing but I follow you in humility in Jesus name.



Lord, I receive the grace to make the right decision and not follow my own righteousness in Jesus name



Take an inventory of your relationship with God, and start cultivating the right heart



EZE 18:19-32





Yours in LOVE



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