Behind every negative emotion is an underlying negative fuels that powers them, your ability to eliminate the fuel determines if the fire will stay or not.

Gen 4:6-7
Then the Lord said to Cain, “Why are you angry? Why is your face downcast? NIV

Anger usually cannot stand by itself; it needs support legs of other wrong emotions and wrong belief systems. It requires fuelling for the fire of rage to continue. We said earlier, some of the fuel that sponsors anger arey
1. Fear
2. Past emotional hurts
3. Lack of wisdom in responding to situations

Let’s try and see what other thoughts or emotions can sponsor anger

Frustration is the feeling that despite all your effort you aren’t getting the required result. Most frustrated people get into desperation trying to do all it takes to get the result. It’s quite easy that one more thing that goes wrong can tip the frustrated person into an emotional outburst. In a way, this is a cry for help but done in a very destructive way. The tendency usually exists that the more you get angry because of your frustration, the more frustrated you become because anger would often worsen the situation, not make it better. Anger blocks flow of creative ideas needed to solve problems, it blinds you to the most obvious solutions and keeps you in the dark. So it is wise to hold your peace and ask for God’s help to resolve the situation in question or for God to give you the wisdom you need to know what to do.
A hungry man is a potentially angry man. The same goes in a relationship. Once a person’s emotional needs are not being met in a relationship, there is a tendency for the person to get cranky, frustrated and angry. If you are in a relationship where your spouse is always getting angry find out what you are not supplying in terms of emotional needs. If you are the person who is getting unduly angry, ask yourself what is that am being deprived and am indirectly crying for help but do not know it. Being aware of what underlies an emotion helps you to resolve it easily, everyone needs love to survive especially if you are in a relationship where you require the emotional nourishment of your spouse, then you must identify lack of such nourishment as a root cause.
Some people become totally unpleasant when they are stressed physically, while this may feel like a genuine reason to blow of the roof. Imagine meeting someone who you mistakenly step on his toe and he or she got enraged so much you wonder if you killed their mother. “Try not to do to others what you won’t desire them to do to you”. It’s thus crucial to identify the high stress times and make a deliberate effort to stay calm and cool with the grace of God on your side. But note that if this stressful condition continues for a long time, you will lack the will power to control your emotions, your best bet is to rest sufficiently to calm down your nerves.

Anger many times can become a tool used by many of us to defend ourselves from people who constantly condemns or blame us for doing one thing or the other wrong. We have been made to feel guilty so much that we simply get angry once someone mentions anything close to that topic. We are trying to protect ourselves from the pain of guilt and self-condemnation. So be careful in your relationship, stop looking for scape goats all the times. When things go wrong, stop asking, “Who did this or who did that” looking for who to blame always causes tension in the air and emotions will start flaring as soon as you find culprit. Even if you know who to blame for something, refuse to blame, just solve the problem and help the person save face. Most people already have enough heavy burdens of guilt and shame they are carrying up and down, they do not need you to add to it, especially not in a relationship. Some people are always accusing their spouse of one thing or the other, if you put him or her in a defensive mode all the time, you may grooming a defensive person and have an angry person on your hands to deal with all the days of you married life.

Pride easily gets angry because he is always trying to protect his ego from being bruised. He is so inflamed in his sense of impotence such that if any one makes him feel lesser than that consciously or unconsciously, they would react in anger towards that person.
Note also that pride is a compensatory mechanism for low self-esteem, so you see how that pride is afraid of losing worth and getting humiliated, so anger becomes a way to protect their pride or to gain self-esteem. Some people cut others down in anger in other to gain their self-importance.

In summary, we establish the fact that anger really is telling us about deeper issues and problems that we are having, so next time you get angry ask yourself that, is this anger really about and allow God to deal with that issue in your life

Lord I refuse every negative fuel perpetually sponsoring anger in my life in jesus name

Lord, purge me of wrong thoughts and emotions in jesus name.

Prayerfully Read all the previous articles on anger and apply them appropriately

Prov 26;17-22

Pls share this with others

Yours In Love
Ayo Garuba (pst)

For counselling and feedbacks
Contact me

AYO GARUBA@ facebook
PHONE NO: 081775547192


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